Irrelevancies

Alison Scott is a Class Act

2011-11-23T12:30:00.003-06:00

I've told you about Alison Scott before and I will continue to do so because the more I listen to her music, the better I like it.

Ali's latest album, Chinese Whispers, came out in September, 2010. I was planning on going to the CD release party at the Fitzgerald Theater in St Paul, but I had a philosophical disagreement with Ticketmaster - they wanted me to pay some exorbitant handling fees; I did not.

Instead of picking up the CD at the release party I skipped, I ordered it from Alison's web site. I figured I would put the greatest amount of cash in the artist's pocket by buying directly from the artist. I bought her previous two CDs from her in person and she was nice enough to autograph those CDs. Had trouble getting the wrappers off but was very nice.

For Chinese Whispers, there was a comment box on the on-line order form. Since she signed the other CDs, I thought she might sign this one as well, so I entered a comment, "Would it be possible to get this CD autographed? Alas, when it arrived a week later, it was still in the shrink wrap, unsigned. That's fine. I figured she might be using a fulfillment house that made signed CDs impossible, or maybe did them only in person, or charged extra, or some completely innocent and understandable reason. I took no offense and I loved the album.

A few weeks ago, I pick up the mail and see a craft-paper media mailer package in the midst of my junk mail. Curious. I had no unaccounted for on-line orders. I looked at the addressing. To: Me. From: Alison Scott. Curiouser. She doesn't have a new CD out and when she has songs to promote, she sends MP3 attachments to her mailing list people (like me). Why would she send something through the mail to me? And the mailer was filled out by Alison herself - I look at two of her autographed CDs every day and recognize her handwriting. Curious.

Once I was back in the house, I opened the package. Out slides a Chinese Whispers CD with a sticky note attached.

"Hey Patrick

We were recently analyzing our 2010 online sales. I noticed that you had sent me a note asking me to sign your CD. Nobody ever attached a note to their order before, so I've never looked for one.

I feel terrible that I may have appeared to ignore your request. Sorry for the delay. Better late than never I suppose.

Alison"

I peeled off the sticky note to reveal a personally signed CD of Chinese Whispers.

She needn't have worried; it didn't bother me at all. Taking care of a single fan's inconsequential request a year after a CD purchase makes me appreciate the gesture even more.

Alison Scott is a class act.

The Best Songs You've Never Heard, Volume 3

2011-11-04T05:12:00.003-05:00

Welcome to The Best Songs You've Never Heard, Volume 3. Volumes 1 and 2 are this blog's most popular posts by far, so I hope many, many of you enjoy this list.

The first two lists were designed to introduce my sister to a wider variety of good music. Volume 3 is designed to appeal to anyone on the internet who stumbles by. I realize that some of you will recognize a few of the songs or at least a few of the artists, but I hope there are enough obscure tunes and musicians in here to expand every reader's horizons several times.

Without further ado, hear are The Best Songs You've Never Heard, Volume 3.

Mother's Finest - Baby Love (1978)
writer: Joyce Kennedy, Glenn Murdock, Jerry Seay, Barry Borden, Gary Moore, Martin Keck
album: Another Mother Further

This is not a cover of the Supremes' 'Baby Love.' It's better. Well, you decide. Mother's Finest was from Georgia and 'Baby Love' was a regional hit way back when. When I lived in Atlanta in the 90s, people would start dancing in their chairs the moment the opening notes came from the jukebox. It's a rocking, soulful blast of adrenaline that deserves to be played loudly and often.

Boz Scaggs - You Got My Letter (1994)
writer: Boz Scaggs
album: Some Change

Boz Scaggs has always been hard to pin down. Even his three biggest hits, 'Lowdown,' 'Lido Shuffle,' and 'Look What You've Done to Me' don't even share a common genre (Jazz-Blues, Power Pop and Ballad, respectively). He continued that trend with his 1994 album Some Change. 'You Got My Letter' has a country feel to the rhythm section but the instruments are jazzy while the vocals are pure blues.

Like I said, Boz is hard to pin down but he's made some great music over the last 40 years and 'You Got My Letter' is right up there, with a great beat and that unmistakable voice. I get the feeling that if played live, his band would just want to keep playing the song for 20 minutes or so. And I'd let them.

Bering Strait - Porushka-Paranya (2003)
writer: traditional
album: Bering Strait

I dare you to not get up and dance or at least tap your foot when listening to 'Porushka-Paranya.' It's like hoe-down music on speed. It's also in Russian, a duet between the two female voices of the now defunct band Bering Strait. The first voice you hear is Lydia Salnikova, who is one of my Facebook friends. Really. The other is Natasha Borzilova, and both are currently trying for solo careers in English-language music. Neither is being terribly successful, which I do not understand at all. Their music is country-tinged and very good, but not selling great guns. Except to me.

'Porushka-Paranya' may be in Russian, a language I do not speak, but is really in the universal language of bluegrass. And fun. And joy. And as weak as my description of 'Porushka-Paranya' is, I really wish I could play a sample to convince you right now. Hi, Lydia!

Sonny Landreth - Bad Weather (1992)
writer: Sonny Landreth
album: Outward Bound

Sonny Landreth is a blues musician from Louisiana. He has a unique style, both in his singing and the way he plays his axe. He uses a slide on his left hand but also finger-picks with his right. Its's probably trippy to watch him play and it's certainly a joy to listen to.

From early in his career, 'Bad Weather' is a good example of Landreth's talent with some wild guitar, great beat and infectious lyrics. And if you can tell the caliber of a musician by the company he keeps, you will occasionally see the name Mark Knopfler listed in the credits of Sonny's albums as a BACK UP musician.

As a Louisiana resident, Landreth had to record a song about the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Check out his 2008 song, 'Blue Tarp Blues,' perhaps the definitive song on the subject.

Jon Astley - Jane's Getting Serious (1987)
writer: Jon Astley
album: Everybody Loves the Pilot (Except the Crew)

Jon Astley doesn't even qualify for one-hit wonder status as 'Jane's Getting Serious' - his most successful release - didn't hit the top 40 at all but it did get a lot of play on rock stations. You can, I suppose, guess the subject of the song. It's layered with some funky percussion and a cool vocal arrangement that reinforces the bewilderment of the singer.

Winifred Shaw - The Lullaby of Broadway (1935)
writer: Harry Warren, Al Dubin
As shown in Gold Diggers of 1935

Oh, you've heard 'The Lullaby of Broadway' before, but never the original version. Written for the Busby Berkely movie, Gold Diggers of 1935, it must have been racy in its day, lauding Manhattan babies that party all night and sleep all day, and have sugar daddies buy their favors. How scandalous!

In the movie, the song is used to introduce one of Berkeley's patented musical numbers. The stage curtain opens. An up-tempo, full orchestra tune - the one you recognize - plays. A small white disc appears at the extreme rear of the stage. The singer, not yet visible, begins singing the lyrics that will become iconic. The disc becomes larger. After about half a minute, you realize the growing disc is actually the singer's face, and the camera is dollying in towards her. By the time the song ends - it's barely two minutes long - the singer's face fills the screen, and she sings the last part in extreme - extreme - close up. The movie then goes off on an extended production number that is as complex as Shaw's song was simple, at one point having hundreds of dancers synchronized inside a restaurant, and tap dancers viewed from underneath a glass stage.

Many people have sung 'The Lullaby of Broadway,' but only Shaw really captured it - the only one that could call it original. The fidelity is a bit thin for the modern ear, but it's a wonderful throwback.

Pink Martini - Lilly (2004)
writer: China Forbes, Thomas Lauderdale

First, my history with Pink Martini. Until I heard 'Lilly' in the background of a movie a while back, I had none. No history. Never heard of them. I downloaded 'Lilly,' then used Wikipedia to see who they were. Pink Martini's genre is World Music. I guess that means they have a brass section, extra percussion and occassionally sing in languages other than English. Lead singer China Forbes is in my music collection with exactly one other song - the pop-kitsch theme to the 1996 movie Clueless.

A few months ago, Scott Simon interviewed the band on National Public Radio's Weekend Edition Saturday, and introduced them by saying that regular WESAT listeners need no introduction to Pink Martini. Waitaminute. I listen to Weekend Edition every Saturday and have for over a decade. Either Mr Simon was exagerating or I'm just not retaining information in my old age.

'Lilly' is arranged in a 1940s-era saloon style, rhythmic, silky-smooth and brassy. I can picture it being sung in a smoky Rick's Cafe Americain by a band in tuxedos. Lilly is a bad girl - a classic and beloved temptress. Witness the opening lyrics:

"Lilly comes when you stop to call her
Lilly runs when you look away
Lilly leaves kisses on your collar
Lilly, Lilly, Lilly, Lilly, stay!"

I've had a few Lilly's in my life. I could use another one once in a while. The song - unlike the titular babe - is a keeper.

Quarterflash - Crazy Quilt (2008)
writer: Marv Ross
album: Goodbye Uncle Buzz

I put Quarterflash songs in the previous volumes of The Best Songs You've Never Heard and I did it for a reason. They're very good. For the past 30 years I have not been able to understand why the band never caught on with the pop music public. In 2008, the leaders of Quarterflash put out a solo album and slapped a disclaimer on the label admitting that they were the only members of Quarterflash to appear on the record. A classy thing to do.

The melody of 'Crazy Quilt' caught my ear first. It's bouncy and kind of happy. Rindy Ross' vocals are unmistakable. It starts out with the singer telling us that she's worried about her friend, a quilter, who obsesses over her quilts, driving herself crazy trying to make them perfect. In the third verse, the singer tells us about herself and uses the same words to describe how she obsesses over the songs she writes. In other words, we're all part of the same crazy quilt.

Unlike most Quarterflash songs, where the instrumental break features a saxophone solo, 'Crazy Quilt' uses what I believe to be a flute, probably played by Rindy Ross. It's melodic and very soothing. 'Crazy Quilt' would fit right in with the music on any Adult Contemporary radio station.

My sister-in-law CJ is a quilter. Unlike the crazy quilter in the song, CJ makes quilts in copious quantities - she doesn't have time to obsess, and they all look fine to me. After I discovered 'Crazy Quilt,' I gave her a copy to see if she'd enjoy a cute and melodic song about her hobby/lifestyle. When she gave it back, she just shrugged. We don't talk about music anymore.

Henry Lee Summer - Hey Baby (1989)
album: I've Got Everything

'Hey Baby' is the only song in my collection by Henry Lee Summer. It hit number 18 on the pop charts so some of you may have heard it. 'Hey Baby' is your basic three-chord uptempo rocker about, what else, trying to land a babe. It could easily be mistaken for a Bryan Adams or John Mellencamp song, in the best possible way.

Ellen Reid - Anybody Will Do (2001)
writer: Ellen Reid, Greg Wells
album: Cinderellen

Ellen Reid is usually the back-up singer for Crash Test Dummies, a band I find unlistenable unless Ellen is singing lead. 'Anybody Will Do' is from her only solo album to date, and the only song from that album I've been able to find. Ellen has a great style and voice, and I would love to have more of her in my collection.

Deadeye Dick - Marguerite (1994)
writer: Caleb Guillotte
album: A Different Story

Like many people, I thought Deadeye Dick recorded only one song, the gimmick-laden but totally wonderful 'New Age Girl.' Nine years ago, I was perusing my buddy Joel's CD collection and saw that he had the album where 'New Age Girl' came from. I decided to rip a high-quality version of 'New Age Girl,' and, since it required no extra effort, ripped a copy of the full album and boy am I glad I did. The entire album is superb.

Deadeye Dick is a remarkably tight band and Caleb Guillotte is a fantastic singer and songwriter. 'Marguerite' is an uptempo pop song with great lyrics and wonderful harmonies. I relistened just prior to sitting down to write this and I'll be dog-goned if the song isn't about missing a woman who died. Even without that extra meaning, perhaps in spite of the morose undertone, it's still a great, catchy tune.

Kathy Mattea - Quarter Moon (1991)
writer: Bob Millard
album: Time Passes By

Unlike Pink Martini, Kathy Mattea truly needs no introduction. Time Passes By was her sixth LP, going top 10 on the country charts and top 100 pop, but who really listened to little old track 7? 'Quarter Moon' doesn't fit within the rest of the Mattea canon - it's a bluesy, soulful tune about someone with nothing to lose.

"Quarter Moon better than none when you travel the night road
Quarter Moon better than none when you carry a light load"

Kathy's never been shy about branching out from country but this is her only dive into the blues pool that I'm aware of. I kind of wish there were more. In 'Quarter Moon,' her powerful voice is subdued and she uses just a simple accoustic arrangement for the music. Simple, elegant and fantastic.

India Arie - Ghetto (2009)
writer: Branden Burch, India Arie Simpson
accoustic version as aired on NPR, recorded in Studio 4A

India Arie needs no promotion from me. She's had four top ten albums and is no stranger to the R&B singles chart. Yet, when she was promoting Testimony: Vol. 2, Love & Politics on Weekend Edition Sunday in 2009, I had never heard of her. As part of the interview, she did a live version of 'Ghetto,' a song on the album that wasn't released as a single. With just a rhythm guitar for backing, her soulful delivery blew me away. It's a very politically astute song as well, making the statement that the impoverished areas of the third world look an awfully lot like the ghettos and slums of the United States.

To find this version, go to NPR.org. Search with these keywords: India.Arie: 'Love And Politics,' Live In Studio. Watch the performance of 'Ghetto' recorded March 8, 2009, and/or listen to the whole interview.

Alison Scott - Crazy Game (2007)
writer: Alison Scott
album: Wish on the Moon

I've mentioned Alison Scott before, but for those too lazy to follow this link, she's a Minneapolis-based singer-songwriter working in any number of styles. I thought she did blues at first, then jazz, then pop, then who knows what. She even insists on rapping sometimes. No matter what style we call it, she plays catchy, soulful stuff that is downright irresistable.

'Crazy Game' was the first Ali song I heard and it's still my favorite. I could have picked any number of songs for this list from her latest LP, Chinese Whispers, such as 'So Why?,' 'All the Good's Gone,' 'Long Way Down' or 'When the Needle Hits the Groove,' but for today, 'Crazy Game' is the one. Anyone who has ever heard a good song, and if you're reading this you obviously have, then you'll recognize Alison Scott's 'Crazy Game' as an immediately memorable, great song.

Steve Lukather - Stab in the Back (2008)
writer: Steve Lukather, Randy Goodrum
album: Ever Changing Times

I've pledged to write up this song without going off on a tangent about how Steve Lukather is one of the best guitarists in the history of the instrument, so give me a minute.

OK. Luke, as he is known to his fans, was the lead guitarist for Toto and started releasing solo work starting in the late 1980s, during his Toto downtime. Fast forward to 2008, when he releases his first solo album in ten years. Its style is all over the road, something Luke fans seem to appreciate. The song that grabbed my ear first was 'Stab in the Back.' It's an allegory for music deals where the artist gets screwed but more importantly, it's a chance for a couple of patented Luke solos. The man can play.

'Stab in the Back' is a very jazzy tune, with melodic vocals and some almost whimsical guitar licks. If the lyrics didn't contain mentions of cell phones and voice mail, you'd think it was a song off a Steely Dan album from the 1970s. It's that good.

Susanna Hoffs - So Much for Love [edit] (1991)
writer: John Hanes, Patricia Gilbert, Peter Dunne, Hilary Hanes
album: When You're a Boy

In the Summer of 2008, I decided to flesh out my collection of artists that I appreciated but didn't possess their entire discography. Susanna Hoffs was one of those. You may know her as one of the Bangles. I picked up her 1991 album cheap - it may have been a penny - and loaded it on my music player. It's a fairly funky album but on my first listen-to, I wasn't impressed. On the second listen, though, something clicked.

At that time I was living in a sub-let apartment in a should-have-been condemned building/slum across the street from my office. It was literally a three-minute cube-to-hovel walk. On a hot June or July day, walking back to the office from lunch, cut 7 from When You're a Boy started playing. The third verse caught my attention.

"I got a contract to protect my labor
I got it worded so it always works out in my favor
Got no loose ends to untangle
I got a written guarantee that covers every angle
So much, so much for love"

Until you listen for yourself, you have to imagine those words being sung by the voice that sang 'Manic Monday,' 'Eternal Flame' and the last verse of 'Walk Like an Egyptian.' It's very cynical, very funky and very fun. I think Susanna's record company missed out by not releasing 'So Much for Love' as a single 20 years ago.

You may have noticed the word "edit" in the title above. After maybe a dozen listens, I realized the song was broken. Like many pop songs, 'So Much for Love' was arranged in the format of verse, chorus, verse, chorus, verse, chorus. I used my WAV editor, found a couple of natural edit points and killed the first chorus, changing v-c-v-c-v-c to v-v-c-v-c. The song flows better and builds up more musical tension this way, but if you don't have the ability to edit music files, hey, the stock version is still a great song.

Kay Hanley - Satellite (2002)
writer: Kay Hanley
album: Cherry Marmalade

I love Kay Hanley's voice. It hits a resonate frequency deep within and brings me great joy. I don't always love her song selection and her propensity to drop the F-bomb makes me a little uneasy, but what can you do? Instinct tells me to put my favorite Kay song on this list, but the purpose of The Best Songs You've Never Heard is to expose you to great songs, not force you to like my favorites, even if they are sometimes one in the same. Having given it that much thought, I have chosen a Kay Hanley song that demonstrates her amazing singing and songwriting ability, even if it's not quite my actual favorite Kay song.

Which brings us to 'Satellite,' from her first solo LP. She sings in a straight-forward pop style, with easy to understand lyrics and a chorus that is catchier than chicken pox at day care. I picked 'Satellite' in part because it uses overdubbing both to give her voice depth and so she can sing harmony-back up vocals herself. Those harmonies pop 'Satellite' up to a whole 'nother level of pop song.

The song is a fairly opaque look at a break-up, one with dumper's remorse, I guess. The second thoughts allow Kay to sing with a little more emotion than on many of her songs, yet 'Satellite' is ultimately a happy sounding, up-tempo song. And you just have to love a song where the lyrics rhyme "black coat" with "Veuve Cliquot." I had to look it up - Veuve Cliquot is a brand of champagne. No, I have no idea what the word Satellite means in the context of the lyrics - it sounds like a person's name. No, she doesn't drop the F-bomb in this song.

Joan Osborne - What Becomes of the Brokenhearted? (2007)
writer: William Weatherspoon, Paul Riser, James Dean
album: Breakfast in Bed
DVD: Standing in the Shadows of Motown

You've obviously heard the song 'What Becomes of the Brokenhearted?' This cover version was created for the documentary Standing in the Shadows of Motown, the story of the musicians behind the incredible success of Motown Records in the 1960s. The musicians playing on this cover are (mostly) the same ones that played on Jimmy Ruffin's original version in 1966. Who woulda thought that Joan Osborne had so much soul?

I recommend watching the whole movie Standing in the Shadows of Motown, but at the very least, check out Joan's version of 'What Becomes of the Brokenhearted?' beginning at the 1:11 point in the movie. It's better than the original.

Steve Forbert - On the Streets of This Town (1988)
writer: Steve Forbert

Everybody has heard Forbert's 'Romeo's Tune,' with its infectious piano and his sandpaper voice, but 'On the Streets of This Town' is a better song. It's a simple moving-on ballad with a sparse four-part arrangement that makes the most of that rough voice.

Kenny Wayne Shepherd - Everybody Gets the Blues (1995)
writer: Angel Michael
album: Ledbetter Heights

I'll close with one of the best feel-good songs in the history of recorded music. It's from Kenny Wayne Shepherd's early, hit-making days, but 'Everybody Gets the Blues' was not released as a single. It's a powerful, fast, exciting song that is a celebration. If something's got you down, it won't seem so bad after you listen to 'Everybody Gets the Blues.'

And that concludes volume 3. I won't promise a volume 4, certainly not anytime soon. I will make an offer to burn a CD of this list for those of you who know me personally. For the rest, you will have to seek out the music through regular channels. I guarantee that many, no, most, no, ALL of the songs here are worth seeking out.

Let's Let Apple Be the Change We Want to See

2011-09-25T08:59:00.001-05:00

I read that Apple Inc is sitting on $76 billion in cash. Good for them. Apple puts out products that people want to buy and they make a profit on it. Fine by me.

$76 billion is more than the annual GDP of over half of the countries in the world. Granted, some of the countries are pretty small but Apple is just one company in one industry. We can conclude that Apple is successful and profitable.

Yet, this all-American company, selling phones, computers and music players to Americans, doesn't build anything in America. Everything they make is outsourced to Mexico or China. I understand that business is cyclical and that bad times will surely follow good, but with a $76 billion cushion, shouldn't Apple move all of their manufacturing back to the United States? Most companies will say that they outsource to save a few percentage points on manufacturing costs, but when your profits are so huge that you have more cash on hand than the United States treasury, can we let Apple use that excuse? Shouldn't we, the American consumer, insist that they become an all-American company?

Hey, guy who replaced Steve Jobs as Apple CEO - Time to open some factories in the United States, dude. Now.

Who is Kim Kardashian?

2011-08-22T08:28:00.000-05:00

And why should I care that she got married this last weekend?

Don't actually tell me, I don't really want to know. Just stop putting her picture on the front page of every web site I visit.

Whoever this woman is, there have got to be many, many, many more legitimate news stories to lead with. How about the need for a trillion-dollar stimulus to get the economy going again? Famine and genocide in Africa? Kim Kardashian is more important than genocide, famine and joblessness?

Please.

And the Hits Don't Stop Until We Get to the Top

2011-06-19T12:38:00.001-05:00

In addition to my regularly posted glance at 10 songs that my music player played sequentially on Friday, let's analyze what are my de facto favorite songs.

First, the random songs from Friday past:

Pat Benatar - Its a Tuff Life
Joni Mitchell - You Turn Me on I'm a Radio
Fats Domino - I Hear You Knocking
Pink Floyd - The Dogs of War
Dana Glover - It is You (I Have Loved)
From the harsh, operatic Pink Floyd tune to Glover's super-syrupy ballad. Jolting on paper. Harder on the ears.
Kathy Mattea - Give It Away
Bangles - Stealing Rosemary
George Benson - Jamaica
Charley Pride - Is Anyone Going to San Antone?
Reba McEntire - I'm Not That Lonely Yet

I built a new computer two years ago this week. I loaded a fresh version of iTunes and imported all my music with playcounts of 0. Most of the time, I listen to a playlist that plays songs at random, excluding songs that have been played in the past four months or so. To listen to a song again, I would have to play it as part of an album, select it manually or drop it into a special playlist. Manual is work - I select songs to replay infrequently. Most songs in my collection have 4 or 5 plays. You can see which songs I've chosen to listen to manually because they have higher counts and sometimes quite a bit higher. Now, two years later, we can see some definite trends about what I like to listen to based on playcounts above the random baseline. And I'm surprised by the results - no Beatles, no Rolling Stones, no Boston, nothing that would be considered "classic."

Four songs tied for 13th place with 13 plays.
Bering Strait - Porushka-Paranya
Natasha Borzilova - Real Fight
Natasha was one of the two singers for Bering Strait. Just a coincidence that she has two songs back to back.
Pink Martini - Lilly
Shannon Curfman with Joe Bonamassa - The Core
I've mentioned Shannon before. This is a remake of the 1977 Eric Clapton - Marcy Levy song.

Two songs tied at 11th place with 14 plays.
Jim Capaldi - Love Hurts
Sarah Shannon - What's Mine
Every song I have of Sarah's has a higher-than-average play count. I wish I had more of her than just 24 songs.

Two songs with 15 plays come in at number 9.
Debbie Gibson - Only in My Dreams
The Jayhawks - Save it for a Rainy Day
The Jayhawks are from Minnesota. I also have an acoustic version of Save it for a Rainy Day with four plays, so maybe they get extra credit.

Another pair tied for 7th with 16 plays.
Soul Asylum - Runaway Train
Another Minnesota band
Kay Hanley - Satellite
I've also mentioned Kay before. Her voice is amazing. Of the 16 plays for Satellite in the past two years, probably 12 came in the past 12 days. I remember listening passively at work about two weeks ago and hearing a really fabulous song. When I got home, I played Satellite again and realized I had never really listened to the song before, not fully. I don't understand how that one got by me - I've had the album for over three years - but now that I'm aware of it and truly appreciating it, I'm going to listen to it over and over and over.

6th place, 17 plays
Amanda Abizaid - A Place in Time
This is the theme song to the TV show The 4400. It's only one minute long but it's pretty much perfect. It's just over too soon.

In 5th place with 19 plays...
Alison Scott - Smash and Grab
From Ali's most recent album, which I bought on September 1, 2010.

4th place, 21 plays
Jim Capaldi - That's Love
This was my most listened to song before I built the new computer.

3rd place, 23 plays
Alison Scott - Crazy Game
One year ago, I had not heard of Alison Scott. In the past 360 days, I've met her, purchased all of her music, and spent many hours enjoying listening. Crazy Game is the first song of hers that I heard and still my favorite, if I had to choose.

2nd place, 31 plays
Kay Hanley - Mean Streak (Do You Miss Me, Too?)
Plus two live versions with a combined 12 plays. That pushes Mean Streak up to 43 total plays, but not quite enough to hit number 1...

1st place, 44 plays
Kay Hanley - Tell Him No
Last year, when I did a one-year update, these two songs were also 1-2, and by about the same ratio. Again, I'm being consistent. I will ponder to myself whether I'm too consistent. I just love Kay's voice and her phrasing. I don't love every song of hers but isn't that how it goes with art?

I find it interesting that only four of the 16 songs mentioned ever hit the Top 40 and only one was a top 10 hit. Don't know what it means but I find it interesting.

Now that I've got this post out of the way, I wonder what I should do with the rest of the day? Maybe I'll listen to some music.

10 Random Songs on Friday

2011-06-12T15:26:00.000-05:00

Although the year of release of these songs is across the board, eight of the ten are big acts from the 1970s.

Highway 101 - Who's Lonely Now?
Joni Mitchell - Help Me
Alison Scott - Rock Me Sweetly
Boston - What's Your Name?
Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band - You'll Accompany Me
Donnie Iris - She's So Wild
Jackson Browne - Hold Out
Dire Straits - Iron Hand
Steve Miller Band - Space Intro + Fly Like An Eagle
Lynyrd Skynyrd - That Smell

10 Random Songs on Friday

2011-06-03T20:20:00.000-05:00

No post last week, as I took Friday off of work and listened to podcasts all day. Today I worked and listened to 88 tunes. Here are a random ten:

Chynna Phillips - Just to Hear You Say That You Love Me
Eddie Money - Give Me Some Water
Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar on Me
A serendipitous pairing. Give Me Some Water, then Pour Some Sugar on Me. Sounds like someone wants to be covered in a simple syrup.
Little River Band - Lonesome Loser
Kathy Mattea - Guns of Love
Doobie Brothers - Echoes of Love
Another serendiptous pairing. Of course, the sounds that Guns of Love make would be Echoes of Love. Duh.
Susan Tedeschi - Back to the River
Sweet Sensation - Sad, Sweet Dreamer
Gerry Rafferty - Right Down the Line
Daryl Hall and John Oates - Getaway Car

Bon Voyage, Liane Hansen

2011-05-30T21:34:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was the last broadcast of National Public Radio's Weekend Edition Sunday with Liane Hansen. Liane has been with NPR for 35 years and host of WESUN for over 20, so no one will begrudge her retiring. Yet it's a little sad to see her go.

I've been listening to WESUN regularly since 1999, and since I installed a client in my computer to record off the radio, I haven't missed a single program in ages (circa 2003). Liane has introduced me to hundreds of newsmakers, entertainers, analysts and other notables. Organizing my Sunday morning around the 7:00-9:00 AM block has kept me informed, entertained and well rounded for over a decade.

My first real memory of Weekend Edition Sunday, of course, had to do with listening to the Sunday puzzle and enjoying it so much I sought out the program the next week. And the next. And the next. The Sunday puzzle is run by Will Shortz, the New York Times crossword editor. I, and several million regular WESUN listeners got to know Will before he got all famous starting it 2005 or so. The genuine friendship between Liane and Will comes across on the radio. Will's puzzle segment will be continuing post Liane.

It was a Sunday puzzle where I first heard the name Britney Spears (What entertainer's name can be anagrammed "Presbyterian?"). Being well rounded doesn't necessarily mean having one's finger on the pulse of pop culture, don't ya know, as Britney had been around for several years prior to that puzzle. Ironically, it was fill-in host Lynn Neary who had the biggest influence on my musical world when she interviewed singer Sarah Shannon in April, 2002. I immediately fell in love with her voice and still listen to Sarah as often as I can. Hey, a song of hers just popped up on my random playlist as I wrote this.

Liane Hansen has been that friendly voice on the other side of the radio for over a decade but a lifetime ago, I used to be a person inside the radio. I know my impression of her is not reflective of reality - people are never exactly who they appear to be in the media - but it's hard not to get attached to someone whom you bring into your home week after week, is very professional and just so nice. So off to retirement Liane, whoever you really are. I have enjoyed having you in my life for the past twelve years.

Liane will be replaced on a permanent basis by Audie Cornish, an NPR reporter and fill-in host. I've heard Audie file lots of stories and appear on WESUN several times. About the time I first became aware of Audie, I also saw a movie with actress Abbie Cornish, so my brain cross-wired them. This is my mental image of Audie Cornish:

I don't ever need to know what Audie really looks like. I'm quite content thinking she looks like Abbie.

10 Random Songs on Friday

2011-05-22T06:27:00.001-05:00

Walter Egan - The Blonde in the Blue T-Bird
Van Morrison - The Lion This Time
Pretenders - Jealous Dogs
Susan Tedeschi - Gonna Move (live)
From her 2004 album Live in Austin. I like the studio version better but this one's OK.
Kylie Minogue - Stars
It's been a while since I've loved a Kylie song but I just can't stop listening.
Chicago - Hot Streets
Karen Mok - Candy Kisses
Karen is a movie star and singer based in Hong Kong. Candy Kisses is in both English and Chinese.
The Mamas and the Papas - Creeque Alley
If you listen to the second verse closely, you'll hear that Cass Elliot attended Swarthmore College.
The Police - Every Little Thing She Does is Magic
Carla Thomas - Something Good (is Going to Happen to You)

Take a Look at This

2011-05-15T09:36:00.001-05:00

I upgraded a monitor a little while ago. The price of large monitors came down to a reasonable point, so I decided to replace a fully functional 19" LCD with someting larger. I went with a 28" I-Inc. Yes, I said 28" diagonal measurement. No, I had never heard of I-Inc, either, but it's working just fine.

Here is a before and after comparison. Yes, my computer desk exists in a constant state of clutter.

To give you an idea of of the scale, that poster of Ramona and Beezus is 27" wide. Oh, and the scrumptious young lady in the background picture on the new monitor is Eve Myles, in a promo picture from the BBC series Torchwood.

So you're wondering why the monitor on the right is sideways. It's because web sites are taller than they are wide, like a sheet of paper. When you view web sites on a conventionally-oriented widescreen monitor, you have a bunch of unused space on the right side and you have to scroll down numerous times to get to the bottom of the page. By flipping the monitor, most web pages fit perfectally side-by-side, and I don't have to scroll as often as you do to get to the bottom of the page. It's not just web pages, some spreadsheets, word docs, programs and pictures like to be vertical, so I like to have one horizontal and one vertical monitor.

With the new and exciting, however, comes some downsides. The new monitor's native resolution is 1920x1080 with 32-bit color. However, my computer wll only support 1920x1080 at 16-bits. That may not sound like much of a difference, but it's huge. Colors turn grainy and are generally unviewable, so I've opted to run the monitor at a resolution of 1680x1050. That doesn't give me the real estate I'd hoped for but at least the colors aren't headache-inducing. I could get a new video card that would support a higher resolution but that increases the overall cost of the project and, most importantly, it's one more decision to make so I haven't done anything about it yet.

Another downside is realizing that the vertical monitor is a piece of garbage. When I got it in 2007, it was fairly expensive, and as a Samsung 23", it was considered top of the line. Right from out of the box, I thought it looked no better than the generic 19" next to it. The Samsung also wasn't very bright, but I just went with it. Then the power switch broke. You can't turn it on or off with the power switch anymore, but by using the menu or auto buttons on the bottom. The problem with the menu button reassigning itself as a power button is that I can no longer adjust the brightness. Now sitting side-by-side with a very bright 28" monitor, the Samsung looks remarkably dim. To sum up this downside, the new monitor has shown me that I really need to upgrade the tall monitor as well, which would, by definition, double the cost of the upgrade project. Another decision I don't want to make.

I'll leave you with the full image of the Ramona and Beezus poster, in case you aren't familiar with it and, really, just because it's cute.

10 Random Songs on Friday

2011-05-15T08:42:00.000-05:00

Friday the 13th? Not so scary.

Nu Shooz - Point of No Return
Steely Dan - Got the News
MFSB - TSOP
The Clovers - Love Potion Number Nine
Joey Scarbury - Theme from 'Greatest American Hero'
INXS - What You Need
Deadstar - Don't Leave
Bruce Springsteen - Terry's Song
Martha Davis - Don't Tell Me the Time
David Gates - Love is Always Seventeen

Flying or Falling wth Style?

2011-05-11T20:07:00.000-05:00

This guy appeared above my neighborhood last Saturday evening. At first I thought it was a loud motorcycle driving on a nearby street, but it neither shifted nor crashed, leading me to look to the sky.

I'm not sure what you call this contraption but it looks both interesting and frightening at the same time. Sure, he's suspended in the air by a parachute, which is generally desirable, but dang, the parachute is the only thing that's holding him up. What if it rips?

The guy did a couple of lazy turns over my neighborhood then headed back to whence he came. While I'm intrigued by the idea of personal flying machines as anyone - hey, who doesn't want a jet pack? - I'm not even going to bother seeing what that machine is really called or how it works.

10 Random Songs on Friday

2011-05-09T07:28:00.005-05:00

A forty-year span in this week's selection. In fact, five songs released from 1962-1965, which is fairly meaningless because these came from a random playlist.

Berlin - Will I Ever Understand You?
Def Leppard - Photograph
Supertramp - Goodbye Stranger
Bobby Vee - Take Good Care of My Baby
Eddy Raven - Solo Sometimes
Dean Martin - Everybody Loves Somebody
The Beatles - Eight Days a Week
Sarah Shannon - Dark End of the Street (2002)
Martha and the Vandellas - Nowhere to Run
Roy Orbison - The Crowd (1962)

10 Random Songs on Friday

2011-04-30T21:02:00.000-05:00

With some comments today.

The Beatles - Paperback Writer
Laura Branigan - Take Me
I sometimes feel sad when I listen to Laura Branigan because she died so young (47) and had such great talent. Yesterday was one of those days.
The Runaways - Hollywood
Brewer and Shipley - One Toke Over the Line
New Radicals - Mother, We Can't Just Get Enough
Yes - Big Generator
Led Zeppelin - You Shook Me
Kathy Mattea - Taking the Giving Away
Rodney Crowell - Baby, Better Start Turning 'em Down
Quarterflash - Crazy Quilt
You'll see Crazy Quilt in The Best Songs You've Never Heard, Volume 3, if I ever finish the text.

Nuclear Incident

2011-04-26T08:40:00.000-05:00

I heard on the news this morning - several times - that today is the 25th anniversary of the meltdown at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant in the Ukraine. It was described as the worst nuclear incident in history.

Really?

First, the incident at the Fukushima power plant in Japan requires the modifier "yet" to be included when discussing the relative degrees of meltdowns. But aren't the newspeople forgetting something?

The intentional release of nuclear energy in the form of bombs at Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945 still have to be considered the worst "nuclear incidents" in human history. No matter how bad it gets at Fukushima, and it could get very, very bad, it'll be tough to exceed the damage done at Hiroshima and Nagasaki. No matter that Harry Truman ended World War II by nuking civilians, it was still a pretty rotten thing to do and no power plant meltdown could ever be a worse "incident."

10 Random Songs on Friday

2011-04-24T18:54:00.000-05:00

Debbie Gibson - In the Still of the Night
Billy Williams - I'm Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Letter
Rodney Crowell - It's Only Rock 'n' Roll
Sonny Landreth - South of I-10
Edgar Winter Group - Frankenstein
Blues Traveler - Hook
Bobby Hebb - Sunny
Four Non Blondes - What's Going On?
Shannon Curfman - What You're Getting Into
Quarterflash - One Less Lie

Wait, Wait, Don’t Bill Me

2011-04-19T08:27:00.002-05:00

So, do you want a way to get your heart started in the morning? Notice I didn’t say "good way."

I checked my e-mail this morning and found this (usually) routine e-mail.

Notice the dollar amount. My bill is always around $40.

Many a calamitous possibility ran through my mind as I scrambled to log into the Verizon portal to look at the details on the bill. What could they have done to make my bill be five times larger than normal and how long will it take me in Customer Service hell to get out of it?

Wait, I don’t see a new bill. My previous bills were all dated the 20^th, not the 18^th. Huh.

Oh, there it is. My account number doesn’t end with 0675-00001. I see what happened. They sent me someone else’s notice. Well, that’s not so bad – for me. Isn’t it crazy, though, that they’d send the ready-notice for someone else to me? That just doesn’t inspire confidence.

10 Random Songs on Friday

2011-04-18T20:00:00.000-05:00

I stumbled across the blog of a woman who publishes a post every week with ten songs that played at random that day on her iPod. She calls it the Friday iPod Random Ten and has been doing it since at least January 2005. Knowing a good idea when I see one, I'm going to steal this idea from her. My sister-in-law CJ posts five things she's thankful for every Friday, so this can be similar to that and a lot less work.

Every week, when I remember, I will select ten songs that my iPod played that Friday (or iTunes, if I worked from home that day). The only rule will be that they played consecutively in the order listed. The list will be presented without comment except when I feel like commenting. I will title each post 10 Random Songs on Friday. Let the new tradition begin.

Here are 10 random songs that I listened to on April 15.

Dire Straits - Sultans of Swing
Bruce Springsteen - My Lucky Day
The Cars - Victim of Love
Aretha Franklin - Rock Steady
Burton Cummings - You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet
Toto - Home of the Brave
Traffic - (Sometimes I Feel So) Uninspired
Linda Ronstadt - Simple Man, Simple Dream
10,000 Maniacs - What's the Matter Here?
Kansas - Nobody's Home

Shirts

2011-04-09T14:11:00.000-05:00

It may not surprise you that I am sartorially challenged. From my perspective, I am clothingly oblivious, but still. Clothing is strictly functional as far as I'm concerned. It provides insulation, pockets to hold stuff and keeps private parts private. Everything else is just waste.

I don't understand the reasoning when I hear people say, "Nice Blouse," or "Cute shoes." I rarely hear a complement about my clothing and I wouldn't know how to take it if I did as I put in almost no effort to dress myself. I'm immediately suspicious of people who think I look nice because on most days, I look nothing short of generic. And I don't get clashing. What's wrong with stripes and plaids? The guy has a shirt and pants on. Isn't that enough?

I work in an office with a moderately nice dress code. Jeans and decent shirts seem to rule. Jeans are easy; I have three types: dark blue, faded blue and black. Easy. Shirts are another story. There are two types, as best as I can figure, polo and button-down. We can draw another distinction. I only wear short-sleeve shirts. When I find myself possessing long-sleeve shirts, I take them to a tailor and have them converted to short-sleeve. Otherwise, I might as well throw them out.

Due to wear & tear and the advancement of my waistline, I occasionally find myself in the market for new shirts. I usually shop by cruising the discount racks of Target or Shopko. The last three or four shirts purchased that way, however, turned out to require ironing after every wash. It shouldn't surprise you that I don't like ironing, either. I put my not inconsiderable intellect into solving a problem I didn't quite understand. How to buy new shirts that truly do not require any maintenance?

I started by paying attention to my existing wardrobe. Some shirts could get hung up after the wash with no wrinkles and some always wrinkled. It seems the ones that were 100% cotton wrinkled. OK, no more buying 100% cotton. Next, I noticed that some shirts that didn't wrinkle also didn't get worn very often. A look at the label showed that those were 100% polyester. They're awfully lightweight and feel kind of clingy. No more 100% polyester.

The shirts that worked best were a blend, 60% cotton and 40% poly. I have two shirts of that ilk, purchased on the same day from Kohl's Department Store. It was my first and only trip to Kohl's, and it was about a decade ago. These shirts are sweet. The material is a little heavy, they never wrinkle and have a subtle stripe pattern that matches whichever type of jeans I happen to wear. They're the Kohl's store brand, so I decided to go back to Kohl's to see if lightning would strike twice.

It did. They have a great selection of short-sleeve shirts and they just happened to be having a sale. Yay! Sales! I grabbed eight shirts matching my criteria and marched out with a wallet $178 lighter. $22 per shirt and I don't have to go shirt shopping for another decade? I shoulda bought more.

When I got home, I entered my credit card receipt into Quicken and got curious about when exactly I bought those two wonderful shirts I mentioned before. Yesterday was April 8, 2011. Quicken's search function pulled up the previous transaction, which happened on...

Huh. That's odd.

April 9, 2000. 11 years ago today.

I am, apparently, a creature of habit.

Turnabout is Fair Play

2011-03-29T16:35:00.000-05:00

Starting in early 2005, I started seeing bumper stickers that encouraged people to party like it was 1/20/09, a not-at-all veiled reference that the war criminal illegally occupying the White House at that time would be out and replaced by a Democrat. Well, it was not a sure thing that he'd be replaced by a Democrat, but that was the jab and it worked out that way. And there was no shortage of partying on 1/20/09.

I parked next to a pick-up at the office today that had a bumper sticker with just five characters on top of a stars & stripes background. "1/20/13." I'll assume it's a jab and why not? It's only fair. But I wouldn't count my chickens before the eggs have hatched. A lot can happen in the next 19 months, but sweeping Barack Obama out of office? Not gonna be as easy as it sounds. First of all, they need a candidate. Don't seem to be any real ones right now.

In the meantime, every time I park near that pick-up, I'm going to smile as I think, "Excellent. He's celebrating the beginning of President Obama's second term. It's good to plan ahead."

Auto-Tune

2011-03-18T14:30:00.002-05:00

Things that should be Auto-Tuned:
The News

Things that should not be Auto-Tuned:
Songs that reach my ears

Dave Brubeck

2011-03-16T16:36:00.000-05:00

As I went to bed the other night, I heard an interview on CBC's As It Happens with a gravel-voiced musician. I couldn't tell who it wasbut I knew he was important, so I listened intently until the end, where the host thanked Dave Brubeck for talking with her.

Dave Brubeck! Isn't he dead? No, very much alive. I probably confused him with John Coltrane. Still - Dave Brubeck is alive, giving interviews and rehearsing at age 90. Wowsers.

If you've ever intended to listen to Brubeck but never got around to it (like me), now is the time because one day he won't be around anymore and you'll feel guilty for not listening when he was alive. I don't want to have that on my conscience, so tonight I'm picking up his seminal 1959 LP, Time Out. After that, who knows?

Brubeck. Still alive. Good for him.

Wait, Wait, Don't Mock Me!

2011-03-15T21:10:00.000-05:00

I read a column by conservative pundit-tool Cal Thomas this morning where he rationalized hatred for National Public Radio. He used three examples to make his case. The first was a single incident of a Capital beat reporter quoting but not attributing a source. Although he twisted his interpretation of what actually happened, Thomas called the tactic the reporter used the "some people say" or strawman method. Exactly what his beloved Fox News channel does constantly. I guess it's OK if you're a republican.

Then, he made a point about bias by calling Nina Totenberg "reliably liberal." Really? No specifics? Hmm. I listen to Nina every day she's on and I have no idea what her politics are. I guess calling her a name makes it so to Cal Thomas.

Finally, he mentioned that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me! made fun of Dubya. Poor baby. Yes, they did, and it's so outrageous because they would never mock Obama, Biden, Emanuel, Daley, Pelosi, Dean, Kucinich, Kennedy, H Clinton, B Clinton, Blagojovich, Reid, Rangel, Goolsby, Geithner or Bo the Dog. Humor has an obvious liberal bias.

If you're using Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me! as evidence of anything other than the fastest hour of the week, you don't have a case.

According to My Dictionary, Letters and Numbers are Alphanumeric Characters

2011-02-07T20:59:00.000-06:00

When creating an on-line account this afternoon, I ran into this gem:

Your Password must be a combination of both letters and numbers.
Your Password should not contain any spaces or other characters.

First of all, there was no reason to capitalize "password."

Darned if I can figure out how to make a password with letters and numbers but not any characters. I think they meant to say "other special characters." I hope that's what they meant.

Don't tell anyone, but I found this on a Fortune 500 company's web site. A large financial firm beginning with "V" and ending in "isa."

When 2% is a Big Deal

2011-01-23T19:47:00.000-06:00

Have you increased your retirement savings by 2% of your income yet? What are you waiting for?

Effective with the first check of 2011, employers are withholding 2% less in FICA taxes from your paycheck. Depending on your state and local tax brackets, this is adding 2.5-3.5% to your take-home pay. Since it's essentially free money, why not increase your deposits into your 401(k) or IRA?

Here's the logic: With the exception of some lower-income people who will need to spend this windfall on luxuries like food and shelter, we were getting along just fine with FICA, also known as Social Security, at 6%. We now have an unexpected and temporary tax cut dropping FICA to 4%. If you spend the extra money, you've got nothing to show for it, but if you save it, especially in a painless and automatic 401(k) deposit, it goes to work for you right away and reinforces the savings habit. And who of us is truly saving enough for retirement? I'm putting almost 20% of my gross income into retirement accounts and I know for a fact it won't be enough. So go to your payroll administrator, which might even be as easy as logging on to a website, and ratchet up your contributions by 2%. It will be especially gratifying if you're turning a goose egg (0%) to a 2, but just as important to turn a 16 to an 18 or anything in between.

Now that you've increased your retirement savings and aren't going to waste that FICA tax cut (technically a one-year holiday), let me tell you a little about why it happened and why you need to protect that 2%.

Early in the 2000s, conservative congresses and White House gave low- and moderate-income people (you and me) itty-bitty tax cuts and gave huge-ass tax cuts to wealthy Americans. In order to sell these tax cuts, which added something like $8 trillion to the US national debt, congress made them temporary, expiring on December 31, 2010. They expected a republican congress and White House to exist at that time to extend the cuts, but the elections of 2006 and 2008 worked out for the benefit of the US populace, and the taxes for the rich were about to head back up to where they were during the red-hot economy of the late 1990s where everybody was fat and happy.

"Not so fast," said the senate republicans. They had just enough power, even being in the minority, to block all kinds of necessary legislation and were just sleazy enough to do it. They said that if the rich didn't keep their large tax breaks, the rest of us wouldn't get to keep our itty-bitty ones. We all know that income tax cuts aren't stimulative but in a recession, every bit counts. Taking a few hundred dollars a year away from a low income person would have ripple effects and would prolong the recession by months, maybe a year or more. The White House and congressional Democrats worked out a compromise. And a dangerous compromise at that.

The compromise was to extend the humongous tax cuts for the wealthy and give all wage earners a one-year 2% cut to FICA taxes. Where an income tax cut isn't stimulative, a payroll tax cut (FICA is a payroll tax, not income tax) is extremely stimulative due to the regressive nature of payroll taxes (regressive means they hit poor people harder because the taxes are a bigger percentage of a poor person's income than they are for a rich person). This 2% FICA holiday will be stimulative because the poor people who really need a few extra bucks will spend it. So far so good.

The conservatives, for reasons I will never understand, want to kill Social Security. They've been trying for almost two generations and will continue as long as people keep voting them into office (hint-hint: vote wisely). Despite what you've heard, there is no Social Security crisis. The Social Security Administration is sitting on a huge pile of cash and will have enough money pay out benefits until 2040 or thereabouts. At that point, they start spending a little more than they take in and will run out by 2080 or so, unless something is done. And the simplest, most pain-free thing to do is to raise the wage cap. Right now, if you make more than $106,000 a year, you only pay FICA on that first $106,000. If congress raises the cap, say to $200,000, Social Security will be able to pay out all benefits as currently scheduled indefinitely. Yes, I just said FOREVER.

Republicans want to kill Social Security. Under the guise of a compromise to help the rich, they decided to force a crisis. By reducing the amount of FICA taxes we pay, no matter how wonderful it sounds, it will drop Social Security's revenue for this year by 33% (6% down to 4% is a drop of one-third). That lowering of revenue, even for just a year, will make that 2040 benchmark arrive just a little sooner. And it will allow intellectually dishonest people to calculate new figures to make it look like a crisis where there is none. Which will allow conservative congresscritters to propose privatizing Social Security to address this nonexistent crisis. Oh, they'll call privatizing something else, but they want everyone's retirement savings to be in the stock market.

Why privatize? At its core, because it allows Wall Street firms to skim money off the top. Every mutual fund pays advisers something for running the fund. Most funds are in the 1-2% range, but some are much higher. Every dollar that they take, even if they are earning it by running the fund well, is money out of your pocket. And since the idea of investing is to get compound interest, it's not just a few hundred dollars a year for each taxpayer that they pilfer, it's tens of thousands over a lifetime. The conservatives will say privatizing Social Security is to make things better for you, but the real reason is to transfer trillions of dollars of assets to big banks and investment firms who will make hundreds of billions off of them. Period.

You can now see what you're up against. Remember that 2% that started this post? Put it into a retirement account. When the elected officials who are only looking out for your best interest are done, you'll be glad you did.

Refinancing Semi-Debacle

2011-01-06T20:40:00.004-06:00

If I'd known how exciting it would be to refinance my mortgage, I would have blogged about it on a blow-by-blow basis. Before I tell you about today's nonsense, here are some lowlights.

I started the process in October, with advertised rates around 4.25%. I checked with my lender at the time to see if they have an adjustment program, as many lenders do, since their choice is to write down the loan or lose it entirely. They didn't reply to my inquiry but they took a third option. Two weeks after I contacted them, I got a letter telling me that my loan had been sold, effective December 1.

Fine, I've already chosen to refinance with the place where I have my checking account. The letter from the old lender says to make my December payment to the new servicer and provides an account number and mailing address. My credit union says they can't close by December 1, so I mail a payment.

Two weeks after I mail the payment, I get a letter from the new servicer telling me that due to the sale, I don't have to make a payment in December and no interest will accrue for the month. I find that both impossible to believe (what bank is going to foreswear interest) and aggravating, because the next day I receive a letter saying that my payment - the one I don't owe - was short by a penny. Where the old lender must have rounded down at some point in the amortization calculation, the new servicer rounded up. Fine. I am officially past due by $0.01.

Meanwhile, the credit union is trying to get a payoff statement from the new servicer, but they can't because the people who didn't want me to make a December payment but decided it was too small when I did claim that I'm not in their system. The credit union finally got the payoff the Monday after Christmas. We were scheduled to close tomorrow.

Somewhere in all this, the Federal Reserve decides that US interest rates are too low and begin some quantitative easing. I don't know what quantitative easing is, it could be qualitative wheezing for all I know, but it certainly raised interest rates in a hurry. I locked in north of 4.5%, about half a point higher than I would have had a month earlier. That's about $40 a month or $15,000 over the life of the mortgage. Curse you, Ben Bernanke!

Which brings us to today's adventure. A few hours after I confirm the appointment for tomorrow, my loan officer e-mails me that we have to delay closing for a week. They reviewed documentation, as they are wont to do, and discovered that the homeowners association fees have gone up since I filed the application. True enough, prices rise and are commonly adjusted in January. Here's where it gets insane: they have to wait seven days after notifying me of a change to association fees which I've known about since before Thanksgiving! The change in association fees doesn't affect my mortgage balance, interest rate or anything, and aren't even escrowed, but we still have to wait seven days.

And some more insanity. We have to wait an official sounding seven days but they were allowed to notify me by e-mail. No forms to fill out, nothing to sign, no way for anyone to prove that it was actually me replying to the e-mail, yet we still have to wait seven days.

Like I said, if I'd known that the refinance process would have been this painful/entertaining, I would have blogged about it sooner. I hope the next post about it is an end-of-process celebration. If not, enjoy my misery. Please - I'm paying a lot for it, both in time, money and frustration. Someone better enjoy it.

Note1: During the writing of this post, I was interrupted by a telemarketer call from the new servicer.

Note 2: The names of the moneygrubbing corporations ("old lender" and "new servicer") are being withheld until I'm sure they can no longer do me any fiscal harm. The name of my neighborhood credit union is being withheld for basic privacy and identity theft reasons.

A Picture is Worth...

2010-11-02T18:21:00.000-05:00

About 864 words. I mentioned before that shortly after I bought my house I added insulation in the attic; R-42 over the existing R-15. I noticed an improvement immediately but haven't been able to calculate the benefit in an objective fashion, since I did it right after moving in and had no track record with which to compare before and after.

I do have some subjective ways, though. Yesterday morning I snapped a picture that includes my roof and my next-door neighbor's. It's not the best picture, but you can see that the frost on my side (left) is barely melting while his frost is almost entirely gone. The only variable is the amount of insulation in our attics. I wish I could measure it more precisely, but I can say anecdotally, with confidence, insulation works!

If a Tree Falls in the Office Park

2010-11-02T18:18:00.000-05:00

Something looked different but it didn't really look wrong.

This tree looked a little larger than I remembered but nothing spectacular.

Oh. Tree go boom. Gotchya.

Yeah, it probably was a lot taller and a little less wide a few days ago.

Hassenpfeffer seems to like it this way.

Hello, Mr President

2010-10-23T15:28:00.004-05:00

A year ago September I regaled you in my lack of success in seeing Barack Obama arrive in the Twin Cities on Air Force One. I live under the westerly incoming flight path for the Minneapolis-St Paul airport. That day, however, the winds were such that flights were coming in from one of the other compass directions. It happens.

Today, though, airplanes are being landed from the west and Air Force One was no exception. I looked up Barack's schedule on-line, then sat out on my deck about 20 minutes prior to the wheels-down time. I only had to wait a couple of minutes to know it was on its way.

It's kind of eerie just before Air Force One arrives. The air traffic controllers clear the sky for the President. You go from hearing an airplane about once a minute to hearing none for about eight minutes. Today is cloudy, so the first sign of the plane was engine noise. It came in much lower than your average jet. And suddenly, it was right over me.

Appearing from the clouds

The plane is so big that it seems to move really slow. Almost as quickly as it appeared, it was surrounded by clouds again. Then it moved directly over my house. I could see it but the angle messed up my camera's auto focus.

After a few seconds, it moved past the roof line and I was able to snap pictures again.

Close enough to touch, almost

A better angle, but now farther away

And then it disappeared into the clouds again.

So I got my pictures of Air Force One. Next, maybe I'll get invited for a ride. (You realize I'm not actually expecting that, don't you?)

Some People Are Just Ridiculous

2010-10-15T19:20:00.003-05:00

It's 55° right now. It got up to maybe 60 today. My neighbors from two doors down have their air conditioning running. It's been running every time I've been outside today (to and from work, home for lunch, et al). AND THEY'RE HOME RIGHT NOW! It ran all day yesterday, too. How hot could it be in that place - essentially identical to my unconditioned abode - that they need to cool it down that much? Ridiculous. I'm offended for no other reason than they are burning copious amounts of fossil fuel when they could have the same result by opening a window. Some people are just ridiculous.

Update Sunday, 8:43AM: Their AC is finally off. From Thursday morning to Saturday late, perhaps even this morning, their air conditioning ran constantly. With their windows wide open all day Saturday.

My next-door neighbor (a sane guy) thinks it has to do with renovations they did last week, stinky paints and adhesives, etc. If true, it's another argument for low VOC construction materials.

Baseball

2010-10-15T09:06:00.000-05:00

Let's see. In the American League Championship Series, the most hated MLB team, the New York Yankees, play the Texas Rangers, a team once partly owned by George Dubya Bush.

I don't even know who is playing in the National League Championship Series this year, but this American League fan will be cheering for the NL champion this year.

The Best Songs You've Never Heard, Volume 2

2010-10-06T22:08:00.004-05:00

Welcome to The Best Songs You've Never Heard, Volume 2. Much like volume 1, I made this list for my sister, a - ahem - middle-aged woman from rural Minnesota whose musical horizons have been somewhat limited. When I say "you've never heard," I'm literally speaking to her. That becomes very relevant in the description for 'Amy's Song,' six titles in. The more worldly of you may have heard a few of these tunes but generally, they are underappreciated. I guarantee that even the most ravenous musicvore hasn't heard a few of these babies.

In The Best Songs You've Never Heard, Volume 1, I mentioned that my sister had not asked for Volume 2. Perhaps technically true, I now recall (with the help of an e-mail trail) that I burned the CD, gave it to her and then forgot about it. I'll have to ask if she's ever listened to it. I know she's been awfully busy every single minute since the Summer of 2007 and may not yet have had a chance.

For the rest of you, I recognize the futility of describing music with only words, but it's all I have. I looked for a widget that would allow me to play samples for you inside the blog but Blogspot doesn't have one. As with volume 1, if I know you personally, I'll be happy to burn a CD for you. Otherwise, use the internet or visit a record store. One or more of these songs could change your life.

Update 11/9/11: When you're done here, be sure to click over to Volume 3.

Deborah Gibson - Butterflies Are Free (1997)
writer: Deborah Gibson
album: Deborah

Debbie Gibson had two songs on The Best Songs You've Never Heard, Vol 1. 'Butterflies Are Free' is different enough from the other two that I thought it deserved a slot on Volume 2.

Can Debbie Gibson give us an anthem? Maybe. 'Butterflies' is a love song of sorts, maybe an ode, which starts slowly, almost hesitantly, then builds in mood, volume and intensity. When the choral background singers break out in the final minute, the effect is like a church song where the entire congregation joins in singing along. Not my church, but one of those you've seen on TV.

Marshall Crenshaw - Someday, Someway (1982)
writer: Marshall Crenshaw
album: Marshall Crenshaw

Marshall Crenshaw is hardly a secret but his music is rarely played on the radio. From his first album, 'Someday, Someway' gives us a simple guitar-bass-drums arrangement and impossibly perfect lyrics.

Christopher Cross - Poor Shirley (1979)
writer: Christopher Cross
album: Christopher Cross

Everyone knows Christopher Cross, whether they want to go 'Sailing,' have to 'Ride Like the Wind,' or they get caught between the moon and New York City. From his debut album, 'Poor Shirley' is a catchy tune that might be considered filler compared to the hits, but it's really good in its own right and, as this list was prepared with my sister in mind and her mother's name is Shirley, it's kind of an in-joke, as well as one of the best songs you've never heard. Hi, Mom!

Quarterflash - Love Should Be So Kind (1981)
writer: Marv Ross
album: Quarterflash

Given that Quarterflash - the inspiration for my blog's URL - is considered, by the few people who consider them, to be a sax- and guitar-based pop band, I selected this ballad from their debut album to show Rindy Ross' great singing. It's a slow, achy ballad that is ultimately hopeful.

If you listen to the album in order, this slow, calm ballad leads into an eight-minute, sax-laden rocker ('Williams Avenue') that closes the album. It's as if Marv Ross wanted to slow you down for the penultimate song then whack you upside the ears for the finale. It works.

Kylie Minogue - My Secret Heart (1989)
writer: Mike Stock, Matt Aitken, Pete Waterman
album: Enjoy Yourself

Kylie and I go way back, to an Australian TV show produced in 1985 and imported to our shores by a cable channel a year later. Although she's not entirely life size, I was drawn to her, what with her exotic look and accent - as you know, Australian women have the world's sexiest accent. I did my research on her, which wasn't easy, as search engines in 1987 consisted of index cards and magazine racks at the library.

When Kylie's first single, 'I Should be So Lucky,' arrived at the radio station, I was the only person who knew who she was and how to pronounce her name. Her music is quite subjective, quality never having been a consideration for the Stock Aitken Waterman hit factory, but I liked her first two albums nonetheless. From the second side of her second album, Enjoy Yourself, comes 'My Secret Heart.' It's a mid-tempo pop song told from the perspective of a woman in love with a guy she's never met. I find it refreshing - even after hundreds of listens - to hear such a messed up viewpoint presented in a wall-of-sound mainstream pop song.

Chris Denardo - Amy's Song (2000)
writer: Chris Denardo

You won't find singer/songwriter Chris Denardo anywhere on the internet - he's not a professional musician. He's the husband of my former co-worker Amy Melberg, and he wrote and recorded this song when he was a-courtin' Amy back in the 1990s. While at work in 2006 or so, Amy mentioned that she had a cassette of songs that her husband recorded, was trying to digitize them and was failing miserably. I took the cassette home for lunch and returned with a CD for her in less than an hour. Don't mess with my skills, dude.

Dave Mason - Taking the Time to Find (1977)
writer: Dave Mason
album: Let it Flow

Dave Mason is a great songwriter ('Feeling Alright,' 'Only You Know and I Know'), was a member of Traffic, and was a good friend of Jimi Hendrix but never really hit it big as a solo artist. In 1977, I heard a new single of his on the radio, 'So High (Rock Me Baby and Roll Me Away),' from the album Let it Flow. When I saw the album at my local store for $3.99, I grabbed it right away (LPs generally cost $5.99 back then). 'So High' didn't get very high in the top 40, but the album is full of great songs.

I considered one of those songs to be kinda weak: 'We Just Disagree.' It was in a different style than the rest of the album, it wasn't written by Mason, it just seemed odd. So when I heard it on the top 40 a few months later, I was surprised. I wondered why they didn't release one of the good songs as a single. Well, I will defer to the judgment of history and 'We Just Disagree' becoming Mason's biggest hit. I like the song just fine but I assure you it is the weakest song on the album (or close to it).

One of the better songs is 'Taking the Time to Find.' It's a straight-forward pop song that starts with with a simple bass-solo intro followed by a scorching guitar riff that I can only describe as circular. Mason's distinctive voice carries us through two verses and two choruses, then a longer guitar solo using the same circular riff. It's magical. Considering what we were listening to in 1977, I can't comprehend why 'Taking the Time to Find' wasn't the biggest song of the year. Instead, it was never even released as a single. That's why it's one of the best songs you've never heard.

Toto - Holyanna (1984)
writer: David Paich, Jeff Porcaro
album: Isolation

I spend a lot of time listening to Toto. There is no single category that would accurately describe all of their music, but one type that they keep coming back to is highly produced power-pop. In 'Holyanna,' they throw a lot of instruments into the mix - all played by top notch musicians - and match that to a catchy tune and irresistible lyrics. Some consider that overkill but I've become rather attached to the style in general and to this song in particular.

'Holyanna' is a peppy pop song complete with horns and plenty of synthesizer. David Paich's vocals cap it off perfectly. Ironically, this happy-go-lucky sounding song is really a scold to a teenager who sneaks out to do who-knows-what instead of her homework.

Amy Holland - How Do I Survive? (1980)
writer: Paul Bliss
album: Amy Holland

'How Do I Survive?' is a funky pop tune, maybe influenced by the waning tide of disco, maybe not. It was a top 30 hit in 1980 so you may have heard it, but probably not. Amy has a cheerful but not overpowering voice. She only put out one other album in the 1980s before retiring to session work, which is a shame. 'How Do I Survive?' is kind of a tease for potentially good future music that never came.

Pat Benatar - Somebody's Baby (1993)
writer: Pat Benatar, Neil Giraldo
album: Gravity's Rainbow

I read somewhere that Kim Wilson of the Fabulous Thunderbirds said that all of the songs he wrote were about women or money and the excess or lack of either. Benatar and Giraldo did not rely on that metier to write 'Somebody's Baby.' It's a sad, uptempo pop song about someone who is no longer wanted by society.

"He used to be somebody's baby
Someone used to hold him close, and rock him gently
He used to be the light in someone's eyes
He used to matter, he used to matter"

The song doesn't say who he is - I sometimes picture a homeless guy, sometimes a prison inmate. Benatar nails the feeling of frustration and waste that goes along with a disposable human being. It's a very sad yet beautiful song.

'Somebody's Baby' was released 15 years after Benatar first hit it big and her voice was as good as ever. I also have her 2003 album and she sounded great then, too.

Dan Hartman - Second Nature (1984)
writer: Dan Hartman, Charlie Midnight
album: I Can Dream About You

From the same album that brought us the classic pop song 'I Can Dream About You' comes 'Second Nature.' From its 100 MPH opening riff to its clean production to its perfect lyrics, 'Second Nature' is an infectiously catchy pop song and I have no comprehension why it wasn't a huge hit.

Hartman died in 1994, cutting short a fabulous producing career. He wasn't the front man very often but when he was - 'Free Ride' ring a bell? - it was magic.

Dire Straits - Setting Me Up (1978)
writer: Mark Knopfler
album: Dire Straits

Everybody knows the hits 'Sultans of Swing' and 'Money for Nothing,' but those songs aren't very representative of Dire Straits. From their first album, 'Setting Me Up' is a good example of their basic four-instrument production, catchy lyrics and Mark Knopfler's unmistakable voice. Knopfler got more complicated as time passed, both with Dire Straits and his solo stuff, but he never got better than the simplicity of the band's first album. Ooh, "Never got better..." Is that a bad thing to say about a guy who's had a brilliant 30+ year career? Hmm...

Donald Fagen - The Nightfly (1982)
writer: Donald Fagen
album: The Nightfly

When I worked at a radio station in the 1980s, I introduced Fagen's two hits from The Nightfly on-air hundreds of times ('I.G.Y.' and "New Frontier') and even mentioned the name of the album on occasion, but I never listened to the entire album until 2002 or thereabouts. Boy, did I miss out. I probably - no, definitely - wasn't ready for jazz in my 20s but I kind of wish I was. The Nightfly is a blues-jazz hybrid and its title track is a peppy ditty told from the perspective of an overnight announcer for a public radio station ("WJAZ, with jazz and conversation, from the foot of Mt Belzoni"). It would be years before I was ready for public radio, too.

With surgically clean production and Fagen's unmistakable voice (the voice of Steely Dan), I could listen to The Nightfly - song and album - over and over. And have.

Gerry Rafferty - Night Owl (1979)
writer: Gerry Rafferty
album: Night Owl

If you lived through the 1970s or listen to oldies radio today, you've heard Gerry Rafferty. His two biggest hits were 'Baker Street' and, with Stealer's Wheel, 'Stuck in the Middle with You.' You've probably only heard those hits, maybe one of his lesser ones. You probably haven't heard 'Night Owl.' I find it to be an infectious toe-tapper without the baggage of being overplayed for 30 years, like 'Baker Street.' With great guitar licks and a steady beat, 'Night Owl' is a good song you've never heard.

Partland Brothers - Soul City (1987)
writer: Chris Partland, GP Partland
album: Electric Honey

'Soul City' is a very funky mini-anthem whose only shortcoming is that it's too short. I like to picture the singer singing the song as he begins a road trip to Vegas or wherever.

"Soul City, that's where we're headed
Dancing and singing til dawn.
Soul City, that's where we're going
And we won't be back until the money's all gone."

It's a feel-good song that could really use a couple more choruses at the end before you want to let the feeling go.

Sarah Shannon - When You Live Life Alone (2001)
writer: Blake Wescott
album: Sarah Shannon

From the first note, a single sustained piano note, to the fade out of a gentle french horn six and a half minutes later, 'When You Live Life Alone' is about as perfect a song as you can get. Operatically trained Sarah Shannon has complete control of her pipes in a song that would befuddle a lesser singer. 'When You Live Life Alone' is a simple song, using a piano, some strings and horns, and Sarah's amazing voice. For the first 80 seconds of the song, all you hear is her beautiful voice accompanied by Blake Wescott on piano.*

A ballad, I suppose, 'When You Live Life Alone' has no verses or chorus. It is more of a missive, maybe a letter, sent to the singer's ex, recapping their relationship - how she was a loner when they met, then she completely gave herself to the relationship, and ends with her realizing he's the one who can't let anyone in. It's a beautiful song and I can't help but get tears in my eyes when I listen to it. I played it for my niece and nephew (ages 29 and 26) when we were hanging out this summer and they were enthralled. I was enraptured, as usual, but they were enthralled.

As amazing a singer as Sarah is, she's only released two albums and neither sold well, but they are a mainstay of my collection. It's hard to categorize her - while 'When You Live Life Alone' is a ballad - sort of - most of her stuff is peppy and lively. She is easily one of the best singers you've never heard.

*Correction [12/4/10]: One of the hazards of blogging from memory is getting details wrong. Blake Wescott wrote and produced 'When You Live Life Alone,' but it was Casey Foubert who played the piano on the song. My apologies to all for the error.

Styx - Haven't We Been Here Before? (1984)
writer: Tommy Shaw
album: Kilroy Was Here

Styx is known mostly for a string of hits sung by Dennis DeYoung, including 'Come Sail Away,' 'Lady, and 'Babe.' Kilroy Was Here was their eleventh album and it contained a career killer named 'Mr Roboto.' While I like 'Mr Roboto,' its video was so overplayed on MTV - and so hokey, what with the robot masks and all - that Styx became a national joke. With the bad, though, we also get the good. Hidden on Kilroy was a little Tommy Shaw gem called 'Haven't We Been Here Before?' You'll recognize Shaw's voice - he was the lead singer on a few of Styx' hits, notably 'Renegade,' 'Fooling Yourself,' and "Too Much Time on My Hands.'

Usually a rocker, Shaw put together a melodic ditty in 'Haven't We Been Here Before?' that is so sweet that I can imagine ballerinas dancing to it. It's a simple, rhythmic tune that he sings gracefully, and it becomes a counterpoint duet with DeYoung at the choruses, the first of which doesn't hit until about two minutes in. Styx has made several beautiful ballads and some classic rock-boppers, but I declare that 'Haven't We Been Here Before?' is their most beautiful song.

The Derek Trucks Band - Baby, You're Right (2002)
writer: James Brown, Joe Tex
album: Joyful Noise

The Derek Trucks Band made an appearance on The Best Songs You've Never Heard, Volume 1 and here they are again. You won't confuse the two songs - they sound nothing alike, a comment frequently uttered when comparing DTB songs. This one is sung by Mrs Derek Trucks, Susan Tedeschi, who also made an appearance on volume 1. 'Baby, You're Right' has a groovin' blues beat and Susan's smooth voice on top. At one point, Susan and Derek are doing a call & answer motif, she with her voice, he with the slide guitar. 'Baby, You're Right' is a great example of some highly talented musicians making great music.

Gregg Allman Band - Evidence of Love (1987)
writer: Chris Farren, Steve Diamond
album: I'm No Angel

The name Allman is well known to rock fans but Gregg had most of his success as a singer-songwriter for The Allman Brothers Band, not as a solo artist. He put together his own band for those times when ABB was taking a break. I'm No Angel was a solid offering of the pop-rock genre but didn't produce any monster hits. A 45 of 'Evidence of Love' made it into my hands when the radio station dumped some promo copies on me. As you can imagine, I picked up a lot of music that way.

Kind of slow but no ballad, 'Evidence of Love' features an amazing sax solo by Ed Callie. There's also one other feature I think you'd like. The song is set up as a male-male duet (no gay subtext that I hear, not that there's anything wrong with that) and who is the other singer? None other than Don Johnson. Yes, THAT Don Johnson, who was starring in Miami Vice at the time. Don released an album himself a year earlier, which had a top-ten hit ('Heartbeat'), and a few years later, he'd have a minor hit duetting with Barbra Streisand ('Till I Loved You'). The Allman-Johnson duet won't usurp the Everly Brothers as the best male duet act in Rock 'n Roll history, but 'Evidence of Love' is a solid offering and, with that sax solo, becomes one of the best songs you've never heard.

So there you have it. Seventy eight minutes of The Best Songs You've Never Heard, Volume 2. If you follow through and listen to each of these songs, you'll probably like only half of them - maybe - but what if you really, really like one or two of them? Isn't that the fun of finding new music? Even if it's sometimes decades old?

I'm working on The Best Songs You've Never Heard, Volume 3 and will post it soon. I'm still playing with the song selection, but I can guarantee you no Debbie Gibson next time. Or Don Johnson, for that matter. I thought about making it no music at all by artists who have appeared on Volumes 1 and 2, but there's this cool Quarterflash song from 2008... And, hey, how would you like to hear a song in Russian? It's on its way.

In case you missed it, here is where to find The Best Songs You've Never Heard, Volume 1.

Forgetfulness

2010-10-01T19:32:00.002-05:00

Forgetfulness bad: Leaving the dome light on in the car.

Forgetfulness good: Forgetting my iPod in the car so I have to make an extra trip to the garage to retrieve it and noticing that the dome light was on.

Hello, I'm Not Johnny Cash

2010-08-26T18:50:00.001-05:00

My iPod did it again! Today, the same song, the second one a cover of the first, played in succession.

I'm sure Apple's engineers are messing with me. Why? Because it's the kind of thing I would do if I were writing software for music players (I have a degree in Computer Science and a wicked sense of humor. Anyone hiring?).

How Does Comcast Stay in Business?

2010-08-26T17:52:00.003-05:00

All I wanted to do was to see how much it would cost to upgrade my analog cable to digital and the CSR couldn't even do that without trying to transfer me to Tech Support.

If they can't even tell me how much it would cost, how the hell can they run the rest of their company?

Addendum: After I hung up on Comcast, I went to their web site to see if I could answer the question, even though I no longer have any desire to upgrade my cable. The CSR told me a cable-card, necessary for my TiVo to get digital cable, would cost $7.50 a month. Holy crap! My reaction was that that was way too much. It really is too much. Turns out - according to their own web site - that the actual price of the cable card is $2.50 a month.

Again I ask, if the CSRs - the public face of the company - can't get the basics right, how bad are things inside Comcast? I can't believe I'm saying this: the day Verizon's FIOS is available on the poor side of Minnetonka, I'm signing up.

Homemade Marshmallows

2010-08-25T18:34:00.000-05:00

Did you know you can make marshmallows at home? It's not that difficult and they taste pretty good. I shared some with a guy at work and he says they work better for Smores than store-bought.

You need patience and a high-speed mixer. There are five basic ingredients but it's what you do with them that counts. The first batch turned my kitchen into a sticky disaster zone, but with a few changes, the second one was neat and orderly. Funny thing, that steep learning curve.

I got the recipe off the internet, but I wouldn't advise using any of the recipes out there (see disaster zone reference, above). I'll post a recipe - and more importantly, a technique guide - when I work out a few details.

I'm going to try flavored ones next time, mint and chocolate being the likely choices. I'll bring a bunch to our next family gathering, whenever that shall be.

Now I'm hungry.

If This Isn't Proof...

2010-08-23T19:22:00.003-05:00

I've mentioned several times how I think that Apple's engineers put easter eggs in the software for iPods, eggs that play related artists or similar song titles in such a way as to defy the odds of a random playlist. Well, today they did it again.

I started out the day with 1385 songs in my daily playlist, set to play in random order. Not quite two hours into my workday, this happened:

These two Victims of Love (Victim of Loves?) have the same title but they are not the same song. Yes, I know that the odds of two songs with some commonality playing together is the same as two songs with nothing in common but you can't tell me that there isn't something in the software making it happen more often than a truly random order would dictate.

Technically, this isn't proof that they're messing with me but it stokes the conspiracy theory part of my brain.

7x7

2010-08-12T14:45:00.000-05:00

I was watching Jeopardy! the other day and neither I nor any of the contestants could come up with the answer for the clue: What type of simple machine is a doorknob? Turns out, it's a wheel and axle.

That got me thinking how I might be lucky to name even four of the seven types of simple machines but I could easily remember all seven of the dirty words you can't say on TV. And I don't think it's just me. How many of us forget the basics but can remember irrelevancies in great detail?

20,000

2010-08-09T11:53:00.005-05:00

It's been a long time since my last post. Some of that can be attributed to my computer dying on July 10 and not being functional again for two weeks. The rest can be blamed on good old-fashioned procrastination and sloth. Really, I've spent two weeks trying to get my computer to behave the way I like it and it still isn't quite.

So, here we are on August 9 with the post that was meant for July 10. On that nice Saturday, I travelled to a St Paul suburb to have Saturday breakfast with my parents. Saturday breakfast is kind of a tradition with us, although we don't do it every Saturday.

When I pulled into their parking lot, the odometer on my Goldwing registered 19,999. I snapped a picture after I parked.

A few hours later, I left to go back home. A few blocks down the road, the odometer rolled over to 20,000.

I pulled over to grab that shot, by the way. I may not be the brightest bulb, but I'm not silly enough to take a picture while moving.

You can see I have a digital odometer. They don't actual roll over. They sit at one value for a mile then change instantly to the next, so I couldn't exactly predict when the digits would change but as luck would have it, I was watching as 19,999 became 20,000. What can I say? I'm a numbers kind of guy.

And looky here! I found these pictures from June 14, 2006, when my cycle's miles rolled on a previous milestone.

Interestingly - or maybe slightly interestingly - my Goldwing rolled to 10,000 miles not far from my current residence. I pulled over to snap the 9999 and 10,000 pictures in the parking lot of an office building on Wayzata Blvd. The same office building I have to pass to get out of my current neighborhood. Interesting and meaningless at the same time.

Any bets on when my bike hits 30,000? Let's see, April 2004 to June 2006 for the first 10k, or 26 months. June 2006 to July 2010 for the second decalog, or 49 months - not quite double the time. Do I hear a guess of September 2018 from anyone for 30k?

Apple's Engineers Are Still Screwing with Us

2010-08-05T21:49:00.007-05:00

I've mentioned in the past that I think Apple's software engineers have put some easter eggs in iTunes and iPods that mess with the artists and songs, even though the machines are set to play in random order.

To wit, here are two songs that played back-to-back today.

An obvious theme, don't you think? My playlist had over 1200 songs in it this morning. I forget how to calculate odds, but I think the chances that two songs in 1200 will play sequentially is 1200!-1198!, or 1:1,438,800 (that's 1200 factoral - 1198 factoral). Or maybe it's 1:600. Don't care at the moment. I'm just trying to say it's mind-boggling that these songs with the same word in the title played back-to-back.

As for some completely unpredictable song order, how about some haiku-esque poetry from the machine?

Day by day, gonna move, so far away.

I'm Old

2010-07-25T19:12:00.001-05:00

I don't mind so much getting old because it beats the alternative but somedays it hits me pretty hard. For example, my nephew, when he has his next birthday in a couple of months, will officially be half my age.

My nephew is celebrating his first wedding anniversary today (One would assume his wife is also celebrating).

So this kid who was a baby only a few days ago - I'm sure of it - is now an old married man with a year of experience on his life resume. I'm so old.

Happy Anniversary, K & M.

Another Helping of Cherry Marmalade

2010-07-09T21:43:00.001-05:00

Here is the other 33.3% of my autographed CD collection.

I will remind you that I bought this CD off of Amazon Marketplace - used - with no idea that it was autographed. If I had known, I would have paid exactly $0.00 more for the CD, but now that I've got it, I'm enjoying having it. And more importantly, listening to it.

XOXO

2010-07-09T21:38:00.003-05:00

Hey, I found my scanner. It was on my desk. I will not admit to how high the stack of papers on it was (but - in my best Jon Stewart voice - it was a taaaallll stack).

Here are the latest additions to my music collection.

Wish on the Moon is Alison's 2007 album. It's the one that contains Crazy Game.

The title of this bad boy is a pun. It's an EP - eight songs - of cover versions. One of the songs she covers is by Paul Westerberg, the same guy this blog pays homage to in the Knowledge is Good section to the right.

Alison's Facebook page said she's having a release party for the new CD on September 11. Let me check my schedule. Yep, I'm free.

Alison Scott

2010-07-08T22:49:00.004-05:00

My regular readers, both of you, may have noticed I have a little fixation on Shannon Curfman. Well, the fixation is on her first album and her amazing talent, which, for the last decade, has only seen the light of day a few times. That first album, Loud Guitars, Big Suspicions, was largely produced by Kevin Bowe, and ten of the fourteen songs were co-written by him. You probably haven't heard of Mr Bowe, but the man has chops. He worked with Jonny Lang and Kenny Wayne Shepard in the 1990s, has written and produced a ton of stuff since, and is rumored to have won a Grammy, although I can't find exactly what for.

Because of my devotion to the beautiful blues on Loud Guitars, Big Suspicions, I check in on Kevin Bowe once in a while. I visited his web site on June 24. It's not terribly up to date but on one page, he posted two songs by an artist for which he's writing and producing. Her name is Alison Scott. I downloaded the songs, put them on my iPod and started to listen. The first song I listened to was Crazy Game.

Do you ever have a life-changing moment and you know it's a life-changing moment? I did.

The song starts unpretentiously but Alison's voice caught my ear right away. When she got to the chorus and belted out "Craaaaa-zy game," I was intrigued. And when the fourth line of the chorus came by and she effortlessly hit a higher register singing, "Then we'd never even have to say it," I was hooked and realized that for the rest of my life, the music of Alison Scott will never be more than a couple of clicks away on my iPod. What, you thought my life-changing moment was that I was going to become Buddhist or something?

I listened to the other free song, Babymama, and was convinced she had plenty o' talent. I found some more songs floating around on the internet and for the last two weeks, I've been listening away. Good stuff.

I asked my buddy Joel, the all-knowing master of obscure music, if he had Alison's CDs. He didn't and had only a vague inkling that he'd heard of her before but wasn't sure where. I consider this moderate irony as when I once asked, years ago, if he'd ever heard of a guy named Kevin Bowe, he reached over to a stack of CDs about 100 high and pulled out one from the middle. It was Restoration by Kevin Bowe + the Okemah Prophets. It's going to be delicious to introduce him to Alison's music.

So I found a Facebook fan page for Alison and pushed the "Like" button. She posts pretty often and said the other day that she and Kevin were going to play a free concert at Augsburg Park in Richfield Thursday night. Actually, she said, "make some noise." Guess where I was tonight?

They had a three-person set-up going, with Alison on keyboards, Kevin on electric guitar and a guy whose full name I didn't get (sorry, James) on a second keyboard. It seemed like an acoustic set even though everything was amplified. Alison was in fine voice, playing a few songs that I recognized from her CDs and introducing a few from the third CD which, she said, they'll be putting the finishing touches on tomorrow. Pretty good stuff.

During the mid-point break, I went up and purchased her first two CDs (and you thought I would download the music and listen to it for free. Hah!). Alison even graciously autographed them for me, although the downside of that is that Kay Hanley's Cherry Marmalade will no longer be the only autographed CD I have on display. Gee, too bad.

I chatted with Kevin for a few minutes, as well. I asked him about his co-writer on I Don't Make Promises (I Can't Break). The guy was listed as Kostas and I wondered if he was the same Kostas who wrote songs on a few country records I own. He said it was the same person. Nice guy, Mr Bowe. Makes great music.

The mosquitos and I enjoyed the second half of the show and headed home. I, of course, was listening to my iPod on random. The random playlist had just under 1000 songs to choose from. Ten minutes down the road, a song from Kevin Bowe + the Okemah Prophets came on. Wait a minute! I just talked to that guy! That was a fun ride home. I enjoyed The Heart of the Everything before, but I love it now.

Alison and Kevin have a few more gigs scheduled in and around the Twin Cities in the near future. If you like hearing a good singer, a bluesy-soulful one at that, I recommend you check her out.

PJ

2010-07-06T20:50:00.002-05:00

I've been watching a show on TBS called My Boys (fourth and final season premiere: July 25). It's about a tomboy sports reporter named PJ. She has a rather girly first name, so she probably started using the initials as a way to blend better with her preferred companions, guys.

It's human nature to adopt a diminutive name for someone you know well. How would you shorten PJ? Well, in My Boys, they occasionally call her Peej. Two syllables down to one. Nicely done. Peej.

The simplicity of that nickname made me think that maybe I should adopt my initials and have my family start calling me by a one word nickname like Peej. That would be so cool. "Pat" is just too complicated.

Let's take a look at my initials and see what we can come up with.

Well, my first name is Patrick, so that's a P.

My middle name begins with J, so that means my new nickname is, uh, PJ.

Hmm...

That makes my new nickname Peej.

Hmm...

Well, that was easier than I thought it would be.

Tiffany vs Debbie Gibson

2010-07-03T21:12:00.001-05:00

I read a couple of "news" stories this week about a SyFy movie currently being filmed called Mega Python vs Gatoroid, starring Tiffany and Debbie Gibson. The stories all had a take on it as the ultimate showdown between Tiffany and Debbie Gibson.

Really?

That war was won by Debbie Gibson so long ago that she probably has no idea anyone ever thought otherwise.

The evidence: Tiffany was a teenage singer, 17 at the time, who released overly produced pop songs and had a one-year run in 1988-89. She had four top 40 singles, two of which hit number 1. 50% of her career output were dance remakes of songs that had become classics - for the Beatles and Tommy James - before she was born.

Debbie Gibson, 16 when she released her first album, had a three-year run from 1987-1990, with nine top 40 singles, six top 10s, including two number 1s. Tiffany may have sold a similar number of albums in the 80s, but lets look at the content of Debbie's albums.

Debbie, a musical prodigy from infancy and possessor of an amazing voice, wrote all of her own material. She played keyboards on her albums. With perfect pitch, she sang most of her own backing vocals. She produced or co-produced most of her own music. In 1989, she was given ASCAP's Songwriter of the Year award, but she had to share it with some guy named Bruce Springsteen.

Her seven studio albums contain over 80 songs, mostly well crafted, great sounding music of the pop and ballad genres, including some songs that must be considered some of the greatest tunes in the history of recorded music. True, she gets a few demerits for emphasizing dance music and remixes, but I'm not perfect either.

From a musical perspective, there is no comparison between Tiffany and Debbie Gibson. Truth be told, though, I have nothing against Tiffany - I have all of her hits in my collection and enjoy listening to them. And in non-musical comparisons, all bets are off. For example, Tiffany's Playboy pictorial was more than adequate while Debbie's was...well, they went out of their way to make her look... unsexy.

Nonetheless, I think I'll slip on my headphones, crank the volume to 11, and listen to Lost in Your Eyes, Ode to a Would Be Lover and Wishing You Were Here before turning in. Ultimate showdown indeed.

Kathy Mattea in Concert

2010-07-03T18:32:00.002-05:00

I attended a Kathy Mattea concert two weekends ago. It was pretty good. The lady certainly has pipes and, for my money, sounds better today than she did on some of her early albums.

The concert was at Minneapolis' Orchestra Hall, so it was acoustic, accompanied by a guitarist, a guy on mandolin and violin, and a guy on stand-up bass. You don't see a stand-up bass in pop music very often. Kathy herself played guitar on many tunes and is quite the accomplished player herself.

The set went just over two hours, excluding intermission. I was sitting in the front row, off to the right, about 10 feet from a speaker, so I heard everything perfectly, if not too loudly. My view of the musicians was almost in profile, so Kathy and the mandolin/violin player were backlit by a yellow key light that made it look like she was going gray.

As a group, they played extremely well and the accoustic arrangements suited her catalog very well. I enjoyed the music very much.

OK, now for the quibbles.

Orchestra Hall is a pit. Not an orchestra pit, but an old, decripit hovel. I was expecting seats similar to what I might find at a movie theater, but the seats were actually small, non-reclining, wooden framed, and uncomfortable. Think airline seats but not as nice. If I hadn't been in the front row, I would have had no leg-room at all. They also served alcohol in the lobby, so there were a bunch of tipsy people smelling of booze all around me. The whole place was dingy and dank.

I also had a fundamental disagreement with Orchestra Hall over the ticket price. There were originally two Kathy Mattea shows scheduled last November but one was cancelled, the other postponed. I thought I should get a refund for the cancelled show and a ticket to the postponed show but they thought it would be fair to give me two tickets to the single postponed show. I'm one guy - it's difficult to be in two seats at once. A ticket agent for the Orchestra tried to tell me how fair their refund policy was but when I asked for cash back for one of the tickets, she said they never return money. Fair for them, I guess. My front row seat, off to the side and too close to the speakers cost me a cool $130.

Kathy Mattea has an unhealthy obsession with coal. She released an album in 2008 compiled of folk songs about coal miners, coal towns, and mine disasters, so it was understandable that she'd hit songs from that album pretty heavily, but think about this: coal mining is a dirty business and mine disasters are, by their very nature, not pleasant events, so the songs are rather depressing. I would have preferred that she play more of the old hits. I will name three songs that I consider mandatory for a Kathy Mattea concert set that weren't included: Lonesome Standard Time, Love Travels and what would have to be a crowd-pleasing BFD. I would also have loved to hear her sing Quarter Moon live. Its arrangement is already mostly accoustic, so it should have been easy to play.

My final quibble. For her encore, a concept I have issues with in general, the band played an instrumental song. It was a fine song but not what I was looking for from a Grammy-award winning singer.

One Year of Music on the New Computer

2010-06-14T21:53:00.003-05:00

On June 14, 2009, I loaded my music collection onto my new computer and started listening to songs in my random and seemingly aimless fashion. It took until December 2, 2009, to listen to every song at least once.

While I have a trouble-free, mostly random and constantly replenishing playlist that I use most of the time, I still listen to catchy songs whenever the spirit grabs me and I occasionally listen to albums or special playlists. That drives up the playcounts on some songs. In a moment, we'll take a look at the most often played songs for the past year. But first, let's do some numbers.

Songs loaded one year ago: 9574
Current song count: 10151

Most recently added song: The Look of Love by Beverley Staunton. It's a cover of the 1967 Dusty Springfield song, from Beverley's 2001 jazz album. You may not know the name Beverley Staunton, but if you watch Dancing with the Stars, you've heard her voice. She's incredibly versatile and sings about 3/4ths of the female-lead songs on that show. I looked for music from her but could only find the 2001 album. You can bet that if she had released more albums, I would buy them.

The top three songs as they were moved from the old machine:

3) Kay Hanley - Mean Streak (Do You Miss Me, Too?) -- 41 plays
2) Debbie Gibson - Only in My Dreams -- 46 plays
1) Jim Capaldi - That's Love -- 53 plays

As of June 14, 2010, Debbie Gibson's Only in My Dreams is one of six songs tied for 7th place, with eight plays.

Three songs are tied for 4th with nine plays. They are Save it for a Rainy Day by The Jayhawks, Cherry Bomb by The Runaways, and What Becomes of the Brokenhearted? by Joan Osborne. The playcount of Cherry Bomb jumped when The Runaways movie came out a few months ago. The Joan Osborne song will be featured in The Best Songs You've Never Heard, Volume 3.

And how consistent am I?

3) Jim Capaldi - That's Love -- 12 plays
2) Kay Hanley - Mean Streak (Do You Miss Me, Too?) -- 17 plays
1) Kay Hanley - Tell Him No -- 27 plays

(To see more about Jim Capaldi's song, see my recent post on the The Best Songs You've Never Heard, Volume 1. To see more about Kay Hanley and especially about Mean Streak (Do You Miss Me, Too?), see my post on Cherry Marmalade)

I bought Kay's latest album, Weaponize, on September 18, 2009, so Tell Him No's 27 plays happened in only nine months. Weaponize is a decent album but only Tell Him No grabbed me viscerally. It's a peppy, guitar-laden song that feels like it's moving at 90 MPH. I'm not sure what the song is really about but I enjoy the heck out of it.

Weaponize also featured Don't Drop a Bomb, a duet with a female rapper, which was not to my taste, so I edited out the rap. The result is actually pretty good and doesn't sound too choppy. My edit of Cobra Starship's Snakes on a Plane (Bring It) is pretty choppy, but the song is so good, I put it up with it. The rap in both Don't Drop a Bomb and Snakes on a Plane (Bring It) makes them unlistenable otherwise, so editing is a requirement. And truth be told, fun.

Where will I be at this time next year? Who knows, but I'm sure I'll bore you at that time with more details than you could ever want to know.

Soccer

2010-06-12T18:28:00.003-05:00

I don't think soccer will ever catch on. First of all, the name. It's futbol across the world but soccer in the States. That's not helping.

I watched the US vs England match in the World Cup earlier today. OK, I recorded it and fast forwarded through much of it, but still. Nothing happened. Almost 100 minutes of playing and there were just two goals. Nothing happened.

Here's how futbol works. The ball gets booted around for a minute, then someone tries to kick it into the goal. The goalies are 95% effective at blocking shots. Bounce-bounce-bounce-shoot. Bounce-bounce-bounce-shoot. Bounce-bounce-bounce-shoot. For 100 minutes. Every once in a while, the ref would call a penalty but I couldn't ever see why. And the announcers, whose job it is to tell us what is going on, ignored the penalties and anything else of interest, but when someone would try to kick a goal, they'd get unreasonably excited. Remember that 95% block percentage I mentioned? Yeah, let's get excited about 25 attempted shots on goal for every one that goes in.

And what's with the varying clock? Futbol is supposed to be two halves of 45 minutes each, but at the end of each half, four extra minutes appeared on the clock. The announcers didn't say anything about it, so it must be a common occurrence. Stupid, but common.

And offsides? A penalty that has no reason to exist. The ball is in possession of one team on one side of the pitch and a penalty is called because a guy on the other team is a few inches too far away on the other side. What the hell is that about? Maybe they could have fewer penalties and more scoring.

I want to enjoy futbol really bad. I loved Bend it Like Beckham and She's the Man is a favorite guilty pleasure, but futbol is better in the movies than real life. Infinitely better. The sport is never going to catch on.

Speaking of England, I found out two things today I did not know. They have their own flag. I thought the Union Jack - you know, the Austin Powers flag - was the flag of Britain. Turns out, that's the flag of the United Kingdom. England has their own flag for when they want to shun Scotland, Wales and Ireland. It's a red cross centered on a field of white. Greedy bastards. Do they really need two flags?

I also learned that the national anthem of England is "My Country 'Tis of Thee." I always thought the sweet land of liberty and land of the pilgrims' pride that the song 'tissed about was the US of A, but I stand corrected.

The Best Songs You've Never Heard, Volume 1

2010-06-04T18:59:00.018-05:00

A few years ago, I was visiting my sister and listening to some music. As you may have read before, I use a random playlist on my iPod, one that excludes songs that have played in the previous four months. Out popped 'Angola' by Ambrosia, a song I had discovered in the early 2000s when I was filling out my music collection. I was surprised that I could go four months without listening to such a wonderful song. I played a little of it for my sister and regaled her in tales of Ambrosia and its main voice, David Pack. From that conversation sprang an idea for a CD.

My sister's main musical tastes were rather narrow - she was all about Elton John in high school and college, then slid over to country as an adult. There are thousands of hours of great music that she has not been exposed to. I decided to put together 75 minutes of good tunes that she hadn't heard but that might appreciate. Thus was born The Best Songs You've Never Heard, Volume 1. The songs are in no particular order and not necessarily the best selection for each artist, but my target listener was a 50-year-old woman from rural Minnesota. It's just a good sample of the wonderfulness of music that is out there.

Update 11/9/11: When you're done here, be sure to click over to Volume 2 and Volume 3.

Ambrosia - Angola (1978)

Ambrosia started the 70s as an experimental rock band but finished a little more conventionally. You've certainly heard their hits 'Holding on to Yesterday' (1975), 'How Much I Feel' (1978), and 'You're the Only Woman' (1980). These songs were written and sung by David Pack, whom you'll hear more about in later entries.

'Angola' is a peppy song, set in the eponymous African country, which, in 1975, was populated mostly by subsistence farmers. The singer, perhaps an American ex-pat, reads the newspaper and finds it amusing to read about people upset about a recession when people in Angola seem happy with minimal creature comforts ("What you call poor, we call prosperity").

After the second verse, lead singer Joe Puerta's perfectly adequate vocals get a harmony accompaniment by Pack's creamy smooth, high register voice (How do you describe David Pack's voice? How do you describe a sunset?) which takes a perfectly good song and turns it into a phenomenally good song.

Kim Wilde - Four Letter Word (1988)

Kim Wilde was a fairly big deal on the other side of the pond in the 80s but only had two hits in the States: 'Kids in America' (1981) and 'You Keep Me Hanging On' (1987). Wilde's voice is kind of weak, even frail, which sounds odd to the American ear, but that trait worked perfectly with the style and content of this particular song, a plaintive up-tempo ballad, making the result somewhat transcendant. In case you're wondering, the four letter word she sings about is, of course, "love."

Steve Winwood - Valerie (1982)

This list was also influenced by a conversation I had with a co-worker, about the same time as my visit to my sister. She mentioned that she had taken a call from a client named Valerie and I off-handedly mentioned that I had two really good songs in my collection named 'Valerie.' I decided to kill two birds with one CD, and share The Best Songs You've Never Heard, Volume 1 with my co-worker, and include both 'Valeries' from my collection.

This version is from Steve Winwood's album Arc of a Diver, which produced the hit 'While You See a Chance.' Winwood gets a little funky here. His signature synth is all over this song and 'Valerie' showcases his high register voice nicely.

Quarterflash - Valerie (1981)

The other 'Valerie' on this list. Quarterflash is often called a one-hit wonder but they had three Top 40 hits and released four wonderful albums. Bandleaders Marv and Rindy Ross are still working today, releasing a CD together in 2008.

Quarterflash's 'Valerie' is no simple song. At first glance it sounds like a college-lesbian experience, but in the third verse, the singer says that Valerie hangs in the student gallery, ala a portrait? I've never put my finger on the true meaning; I just like the song.

Susan Tedeschi - Alone (2002)

Susan Tedeschi is kind of like a female David Pack, with a beautiful, distinctive voice. 'Alone' is a soulful, hopeful pop song - complete with horns - featuring incredibly smooth, powerful vocals. Her normal style is the Blues and she does them well, but with 'Alone,' she's playing above her normal level.

Debbie Gibson - Think with Your Heart (1995)

Debbie Gibson had her biggest success before she was old enough to vote. Maybe because of her bubblegum princess image, she received no attention from the music-loving public after 1991. Shame. I have all of her albums and while I may quibble over some of her song choices and even her musical direction, I will never say anything bad about her voice. 'Think with Your Heart' is maybe the best example of Debbie's great voice. A simple piano ballad with strings, this song rates among the best songs ever recorded.

The Derek Trucks Band - I Wish I Knew (How It Would Feel to be Free) (2006)

I slept late on March 25, 2006. 7:46AM on a Saturday is late for me. When I got up, I walked through the kitchen and turned on the radio. I listen exclusively to National Public Radio's morning programs, which usually consist of newsmakers being interviewed by deep voiced, serious journalists. Stereotype aside, what came out of my radio that morning was anything but a stolid interview. My speakers erupted with a screaming slide guitar solo that went on for a good minute, then more of a song, the likes of which I had never heard before.

'I Wish I Knew (How It Would Feel to be Free)' is pretty much a negro spiritual (is that still a term I'm allowed to use?), but was written in 1967. The DTB version adds a powerful blues style to the spirituality and rocks out.

Not all of The Derek Trucks Band's music is to my taste but 'I Wish I Knew (How It Would Feel to be Free)' certainly is. I now have five different versions by DTB in my collection, including the NPR version that ripped up my speakers on that fateful day in 2006.

Deadstar - Run Baby Run (1999)

Deadstar is an Australian band that had modest, if any, success in their homeland and almost zero in the States. This song came to my attention on the soundtrack of Drive Me Crazy in 1999. Deadstar's lead singer has a very sweet voice, and 'Run Baby Run' is a gentle, even soothing ballad.

Gjallarhorn - Goddess of Spring (2000)

I accidentally discovered Gjallarhorn one day in 2001 when KTCA ran a live performance of 'Goddess of Spring' between requests for money. Gjallarhorn is a band from Finland that sings in Swedish and plays in a traditional folk style. 'Goddess of Spring' is a an uptempo song that blends traditional with amplified instruments and I swear there is an Australian didgeridoo in the mix as well. A very pleasing song, even if I can't understand a word they're saying.

David Pack - Tell Her Goodbye (2005)

Chronologically, I've gotten out of order, because David Pack will appear later with an older song but if you're listening to the CD, the music flows well with this order.

David Pack is an amazing singer. I could just stop there, but... 'Tell Her Goodbye,' from his first complete album in twenty years, is a marvel. Accompanied only by an acoustic guitar and bass, Pack sings a song with roots in the blues but fits into what some people might call the Smooth Jazz category. Harmonies - fantastic harmonies - are provided by Dewey Bunnell, late of the band America.

Pack's 2005 album The Secret of Moving On is wonderful as a whole; I just wish he'd put albums out more than once every twenty years.

Jim Capaldi - That's Love (1983)

Jim Capaldi did some good group work in the 60s with Traffic and tried for a solo career in the 70s. He never really took off but put out some good material nonetheless. He almost hit it big in 1976 with an up-tempo, happy version of 'Love Hurts,' but had the misfortune of releasing it the same time that Nazareth released their downbeat, power-ballad version.

'That's Love' is your basic Top 40 pop song, with a clean arrangement and good hooks. Steve Winwood plays keyboards. It is, in my opinion, Capaldi's best solo song.

Rush - Spirit of the Radio (1978)

Once again, I remind you that this list was originally prepared for someone who hasn't listened to rock radio since the 70s and whose interest in rock began and ended with Elton John. This staple of AOR (Album Oriented Rock) radio is a staple for a reason. It's melodically creative, has great hooks, Geddy Lee's extremely powerful, extremely high voice, and lyrics that say something. The commercialization of radio has only gotten worse since Rush recorded this song over 30 years ago.

Rush is an acquired taste so even if you listen to this song a few times it may not grab you. But if you're looking for a kick ass rock song, 'Spirit of the Radio' should get you.

Oh, about the name. It is officially 'The Spirit of Radio,' but back in my musically formative years, I never heard anyone - DJ, friend, stranger - say the title in the right order. I don't think the title is ever mentioned in the lyrics, so for me, and maybe everyone from Southwestern Minnesota, it will always be 'Spirit of the Radio.'

Benjamin Orr - This Time Around (1986)

Ben Orr was one of two singers for The Cars. It's his voice on the hits 'Just What I Needed' and 'Let's Go.' He released his only solo album, The Lace, the year after the monster success of The Cars album Heartbeat City, which included Orr singing the number 1 hit 'Drive.'

Benjamin Orr's solo style was tamer than the new wave-influenced Cars, more conventional pop. You may have heard The Lace's top 10 hit 'Stay the Night.' My favorite from the album is 'This Time Around,' a gentle pop song sung from the perspective of a guy ready to get things right.

[Update 9/29/10: I just watched Fast Times at Ridgemont High again and was reminded that Benjamin Orr sang lead on The Cars song 'Moving in Stereo.' It's his voice you hear during the infamous Phoebe Cates bikini scene.]

Bob Welch - Lose Your... + Carolene (1977)

Bob Welch was the singer and guitar player for Fleetwood Mac before Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham joined, so he's not very well known. A lot of his songs tend to sound alike, which is to say the songs feature his voice and guitar and no real frills. This is actually a good thing.

The year that Fleetwood Mac had their unprecedented success with Rumours, Welch released a little album called French Kiss. It had two hits, 'Sentimental Lady' and 'Ebony Eyes.' The remainder of the album was solid, if not terribly innovative. I pick 'Carolene' as the best of the non-hits.

Welch had a small theme in French Kiss. The last song of side one was 'Lose My Heart.' The last song on side two was 'Lose Your Heart.' Wedged in between the other four songs on side two, there was a 42-second teaser called 'Lose Your...' leading into 'Carolene.' Technically, 'Carolene' is a stand-alone song but I can't listen to one without the other.

Charlotte Grace - Picture of You (1998)

Like Deadstar, Charlotte Grace is an Australian who had no success in the States, and whom I found on the Drive Me Crazy soundtrack. I had to buy my copy of this song from a guy in Australia. Worth it. 'Picture of You' is pretty much a perfect song.

David Pack - Anywhere You Go (1985)

This is Pack's third entry on this list, if you include his backing vocals and songwriting on 'Angola.' 'Anywhere You Go' is the title track on Pack's first solo LP. It didn't sell terribly well - I didn't even buy mine at first - I took home a demo copy from the radio station I worked at in 1985 and I haven't stopped listening yet. I've since upgraded to a CD purchased at retail.

'Anywhere You Go' is my favorite song from the album but just barely. It's safe to say this song is a ten while all the other songs are nines.

Pack made a Grammy-winning career out of producing other artists and by listening to the Anywhere You Go album, you'll hear why. The songwriting is top notch, the sound is smooth and the music is played by virtuosos at their peak.

Deborah Gibson - I Can't (1997)

Debbie Gibson couldn't buy a hit in the 1990s or 2000s, but she hit a creative zenith with 1997's Deborah. Ten years after the pop perfection of Out of the Blue, she released an album with soulful maturity. Her songwriting had improved and her production was lush. 'I Can't' was one of maybe three songs that deserved to be hits, but alas, they ended up being some of the best songs you've never heard.

Shannon Curfman - I Don't Make Promises (I Can't Break) (1999)

Shannon Curfman's first album, Loud Guitars, Big Suspicions, was released in September, 1999. She received immediate acclaim by blues fans, complimenting the richness of her voice - comparing her to Bonnie Raitt and Sheryl Crow - and her lightning in a bottle guitar playing.

Shannon was born in 1985. The year the album came out was 1999! Loud Guitars, Big Suspicions was recorded when she was 13; released when she was 14. It sounds, however, from start to finish, like she was a journeyman blues player.

I saw Shannon play 'I Don't Make Promises (I Can't Break)' on a morning news show in 2000 and was blown away by the great music coming out if the teenybopper. I immediately bought the CD and still listen to songs from it as often as possible.

Toto - Rockmaker (1978)

Toto is one of the most amazing bands in music history. Saleswise, they peaked with 1982's Grammy winner for Album of the Year, Toto IV, and Song of the Year, 'Rosanna.' However, they put out consistently good music until they dissolved the band last year.

Toto's first album produced the classic rock hit 'Hold the Line,' which deservedly gets a lot of attention, but 'Rockmaker' was really the sign of Toto to come. Great songwriting, smooth vocals and the balance of Jeff Porcaro's drums, David Paich's keyboards and Steve Lukather's guitars. That formula produced dozens of great songs for Toto over the years.

[Update 9/28/10: I see the potential for confusion about the lead singers of Toto. They've had, by my count, 10 lead singers on their 14 albums, usually 3-4 singers per album. The lead singer of 'Rockmaker' is David Paich. He was also the singer on Toto's megahit 'Africa.' He is not the lead singer on the familiar hits 'Hold the Line,' 'Rosanna,' 'I'll Be Over You' or '99.'

The Best Songs You've Never Heard, Volumes 2 and 3 are ready to go, but neither of the recipients of Volume 1 has asked for them. I'll post the song lists for Volumes 2 and 3 sometime in the near future. If you want to hear The Best Songs You've Never Heard, Volume 1 and actually know me, I'll be happy to share a CD with you. Just ask.

Delicious Cherry Marmalade

2010-05-30T19:21:00.008-05:00

I have a lot of music but not so many CDs. I never had a lot of LPs either, maybe 150 albums before I started tossing them. I made a quick inventory of my CDs the other day - only about 125. I have them all in rows in a media bookcase in my bedroom.

Only one CD is on display, on a shelf, opened like a V, so we can see the front and back. Cherry Marmalade by Kay Hanley.

Kay Hanley came into my life on April 13, 2001, while watching the movie Josie and the Pussycats. The movie, a fun little trifle, was about three musician friends, hence a lot of music in the movie. Josie was played by Minnesota-native Rachael Leigh Cook. Josie's singing voice was by Kay Hanley. I had never heard of Kay Hanley until I saw her name in the credits and I'm pretty sure I had never heard so much as one note of her music until the opening scene of Josie and the Pussycats.

I went home and downloaded the soundtrack to the movie (since upgraded to a purchased CD) and listened over and over. I soon craved more songs by that voice. I found out that in the 1990s, Kay was the lead singer of Letters to Cleo, a band I had never heard of, but whose CDs were in the collection of my buddy Joel. Who knew?

A little while later, I also used Kazaa, a now defunct file-sharing site, to search for more songs by Kay Hanley. I only found one and don't remember the name the file had when I downloaded it - it didn't seem to match the song - so I renamed it after a prominent phrase in the chorus, "Do You Miss Me, Too?" This song was recorded live, either at a bar or a sound check, and was over-driven - distorted - and contained some talking from Kay to the sound-board operator at the beginning and for about 30 seconds at the end. It was annoying to hear the non-music parts of the file, so I removed the song from my collection.

Still, I couldn't get the song out of my head. It was catchy and hooked me. A few years later, I had become proficient with soundwave editing software, which allows me to remove pops & clicks from vinyl recordings and delete extra silence from the beginnings and endings of songs as needed. I pulled "Do You Miss Me, Too?" from the archives - I never fully delete any song I possess, just throw them into a separate folder - and edited a few seconds from the front and half a minute from the back. I resaved the song and put it back into rotation.

Over the next three or four years, "Do You Miss Me, Too?" became one of my most listened to songs. The distortion bothered me a bit but Kay's powerful voice, a good beat and great lyrics kept me listening. That would be a happy-enough ending for this story but it's not THE ending.

In 2006 or 2007, I put the rest of Kay Hanley's discography that I didn't already have on my Amazon.com wishlist. I check the wishlist every day to see if something I desire drops to a reasonable price and then I buy. It's saved me hundreds of dollars over the years. One Kay album in particular, Cherry Marmalade, was rather expensive, bouncing around the $10-20 range for over a year. Too rich for my blood, I did nothing until March 3, 2008, when a used copy became available for $3.99. I pulled the trigger. On March 15, I had the CD in my hand. The case was a little dinged up but the disc and insert were mint.

I began to rip the CD into digital files so I could import the songs into iTunes and my iPod. While I was waiting for the rip to finish, the thrill of the hunt overpowered me. I figured that "Do You Miss Me, Too?" was probably more than a demo or club recording - it had to be from an album. I decided then and there to find the original version and to buy the album that day, whatever the cost. But how?

This being the Internet age, I used Google. I entered "do you miss me too" into the search engine. A plethora of lyrics-providing sites returned the same thing: the name of the song was apparently "Mean Streak." Odd. If so, the title didn't seem to match the song. Well, that would hardly be unique in the history of recorded music, so I moved on to the next logical
thing, and searched Kay Hanley's discography for an album that contained a song called "Mean Streak." Found it quickly. The song was on Kay's 2002 album...

Cherry Marmalade.

The same Cherry Marmalade I was holding in my left hand. Track 11. The same song that my software was ripping at that very moment. Fun coincidence.

When the album was loaded into iTunes, I cranked up what we will henceforth call Mean Streak (Do You Miss Me, Too?). It was different than the live/demo version, obviously. In addition to cleaner instrumentation, it was faster - maybe 10%, had a bit of synth in the background and a scorching guitar solo only hinted at in the garage version. I loved it. From that first listen in March, 2008, to when I built a new computer in June, 2009, it accumulated a play count of 41, far exceeding the rate at which I listened to any other song in my collection. It continues to accumulate playing time on the new computer - 17 plays since June 14, 2009.

Finding the studio version of Mean Streak (Do You Miss Me, Too?) would also be a happy ending for this story, but it's not THE ending.

When I moved into my house in 2008, I left my CD collection, meager as it is, unpacked in boxes in a closet. Earlier this year, I installed a new bookcase, mainly for my DVD collection, that had enough room for the CDs, so I removed all of them from their boxes and placed them on the new bookcase. When I picked up Cherry Marmalade, I noticed something for the first time. On the front of the case insert, right next to the picture of Kay, was a scribble from a Sharpie. K-something-y, H-a-something-y. Whoa.

I had a copy of a Kay Hanley CD signed by Kay Hanley! Very cool. It would be cooler if she had signed it in my presence FOR me, but close enough, man. I don't care that I acquired the CD through Amazon Marketplace, I just have a signed copy of a Kay Hanley CD. Period. Rather than hide the CD amidst the rest of my music, I gave it a place of honor on a separate shelf where anyone in the room can see it. It is the only CD in my collection so honored.

And THAT IS the happy ending of this long, but touching story.

If you're wondering what Kay Hanley is up to these days, well, even hard rockin', literate, indie musicians have to eat. For the last few years, she's been a back-up singer for Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana. No kidding. If you know where to look, you can spot her on stage in both Hannah Montana movies.

Oh, the title Mean Streak comes from a line in the song,

"It’s not beneath me to appreciate
the mean streak that’s inside me
when it’s so hard to miss you the way that I do."

The singer seems to be conflicted by having dumped a boyfriend (or having been dumped) and is engaging in a little passive aggressive behavior. Rock 'n Roll romance, kids.

Some People Need to be Supervised

2010-05-20T19:57:00.003-05:00

My homeowner's association is sponsoring some maintenance this week. On Tuesday, their contractor pressure washed the decks, stairs and landings. Mondo improvement, at least to the unstained, unpainted wood. Looks like it might even be cedar. The painted surfaces lost a bit of paint, which is pretty much to be expected after a pressure-washing.

Today, I watched two young men dressed in painters garb go from house-to-house scraping and painting. Since the pressure wash dislodged a lot of paint, that part makes sense. What doesn't make sense is that the washing brought into clear focus what each individual homeowner already knew: the painted parts of our decks and railings are rotting. And not just a little. Take a gander at my next-door neighbor's railing.

That's what parts of mine looked like this morning. Now that some paint has been stripped and massive rot has been exposed, you'd think it would be time to repair and replace. You'd be wrong. Here's what it looks like now:

They painted over the rot! Some people need to be supervised.

I don't know what's going on. I asked one of the guys what they were doing about the rot. He said a carpenter was going to come in and replace all the sections of railing that have rot. Fine, but why paint over it?

I'm just going to sit back and see what happens. Despite the observable inefficiency, I expect it will all work out but could be highly entertaining in the meantime.

The Doctor

2010-05-07T10:01:00.001-05:00

In 1989, the Doobie Brothers released a song proclaiming that "Music is the doctor."

Today, right about now, I get to say, "My nephew is the doctor."

Are Trees Flowers?

2010-04-30T20:56:00.013-05:00

I first started noticing flowering trees when I lived in Georgia, circa 1997. Every Spring, or every whatever time of year passes for Spring in Georgia's climate, all the dogwood trees would flower overnight. Might not have been dogwoods but let's call them that. For about a week, these medium-sized trees would be covered in white blossoms so thick you couldn't see any leaves, reminiscent of giant cotton balls.

I bought my house two years ago in Summer, so I thought nothing of the tree in my front yard. Last Spring, surprisingly, it erupted in beautiful pink blossoms. This year, I took pictures.

Here's a chronology of a bloom fortnight in my neighborhood.

April 16. Red buds cover the tree, but it still looks pretty bare.

April 18. Starting to flower. I decided to take pictures around 8:00 AM, when the sun is behind the camera.

April 19. Very pretty.

April 20. Very few leaves visible. Neighbor's garbage can included in background at no extra charge.

April 21. Filling out nicely.

April 22. Earth Day. I mean Goldwing Day.

April 23. About the same as yesterday, which is to say, very nice.

April 26. It rained on April 24 & 35, so no pictures from those days. Petals are starting to drop.

April 27. Leaves are becoming much more visible. My neighbor's garbage can and recycling bin makes another cameo appearance. Neighbor recycles mostly bottles, if you get my drift.

April 29. The fun is almost over.

April 30. Still some pink there but the leaves really want to take over. Where did all the petals go?

There they are. It looks like a hail storm but no, those are petals.

So Close

2010-04-30T20:52:00.001-05:00

Last Fall, I put both of my two-wheeled vehicles in storage for the off-season. I thought about hanging the motorcycle from the ceiling but later opted to park it on the floor and hang the bicycle. Less fun but more practical.

Not wanting the two vehicles to interfere with other, I measured carefully and drilled hooks into the ceiling for the bike. I parked the cycle and then hung the bike on the hooks.

While I measured carefully, I didn't take into consideration the motorcycle's cover. Let's see how close I got.

Ouch. While the bike's handlebars are still inches away from the motorcycle, with the cover in the mix, we're calling that zero clearance. Very tight. With my track record, I'm very happy to not be reporting major negative clearance.

Happy Earth Day? No, Happy Goldwing Day

2010-04-22T21:01:00.003-05:00

I brought home my Goldwing on his date in 2004. I remember quite clearly the first song to eminate from the radio - "Peaceful, Easy Feeling" by The Eagles. Whether you believe in omens or not, that was a good sign. On my way to work this morning, it hit 19,000 miles.

I've been avoiding driving my truck this week, for reasons that may be explained in a later post, and Monday-Tuesday were lovely days. Because they were lovely, and Wednesday morning was sunny, I didn't look at the thermometer before I left for work. Wow: 43°. That's a bit chilly when riding a machine that makes its own windchill. My lower limit for cycling to work has usually been 55°. A new and somewhat brisk low, and short-lived. My commute is less than two miles.

I looked at the thermometer before I left this morning: 39°. A second new low in as many days. Should be closer to 50° than 40° Friday morning. I hope it's warm for the weekend, so I can see about fixing my truck.

Scoundrels

2010-04-16T18:34:00.001-05:00

Denny Hecker is a prominent Twin Cities car dealer. Or maybe I should use the past tense. He's currently awaiting trial for fraud and is in the middle of both bankruptcy and divorce. For all the salacious details, feel free to Google him.

I don't know if he's a con man or just an incompetent business person as he claims, but when he turned himself in for a few days in jail for contempt in the bankruptcy proceedings, he had $4000 in cash in his pocket. You know, if you're on your way to serve a contempt sentence for hiding assets, you might want to leave your wallet at home if it contains some of the assets you've been hiding. Ballsy and/or stupid.

For the last decade, the headquarters of Hecker's empire has been on my drive to work. Four or five years ago, I noticed that he opened a mortgage lending office. It makes sense, as car loans and home loans aren't all that different, and it was at the peak of the housing bubble.

I draw your attention to the signs on the building.

Let's see those signs in close-up.

In 1775, Samuel Johnson said, "Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel." Naming your business "Freedom First Financial" and putting up red, white & blue signs, including one reminiscent of a waving flag, is definitely invoking patriotic imagery. Denny Hecker is demonstrably a scoundrel, so there has to be a lesson in there somewhere. I would even believe that "Freedom First Financial" wasn't the last choice of names; probably the first.

Minnesota Governor Timothy Pawlenty created a political action committee to raise money for his presidential bid. The name of Pawlenty's political action committee?

Freedom First PAC.

Gotta be a lesson in there, as well.

Wellstone!

2010-04-09T20:38:00.001-05:00

When travelling the highways and byways of Minnesota, you will often see cars with little green bumper stickers that say "Wellstone!" It's not at all uncommon to see cars with bumper stickers from elections past.

Paul Wellstone was a US Senator from 1991-2002 and a progressive icon. He was a small man with fierce determination and proudly wore the "Liberal" label. He died in October 2002, days before an election he would easily have won.

Yesterday, while driving down my local freeway, I saw a car with a Wellstone! bumper sticker. A 2009 Ford Focus. A car manufactured a good seven years after Paul Wellstone left the mortal coil.

Seven years and Minnesotans are still claiming Wellstone, one bumper sticker at a time.

Kind of says it all.

Cold as Ice, and Loud as a Foreigner Concert, Too

2010-04-02T18:34:00.000-05:00

My refrigerator has been making noise lately, noise that indicates that it is not performing adequately. The bad kind of not adequately. After work today, while getting ready to watch a DVD in peace and quiet, I realized that the quiet wasn't quite peaceful enough, and I decided to forego seeing the lovely (and brown-eyed) Kate Beckinsale as Jane Austen's Emma long enough to fix the fridge.

Gathering the necessary tools took longer than taking off the back of the fridge. Once I had it opened, ironically, it stopped cycling but when it started up again, I could immediately see and hear the problem. The fan, a little 6- or 7-inch baby, was rubbing on its shroud. A little nosing around and I deduced that the bearing holding up the fan's output shaft was made of rubber or plastic and had worn over time. The shaft had dropped about 1/16”, which caused the blades to rub against the shroud and make an unpleasant racket.

A bearing made out of a material that wears out? That's lousy design, almost as if the manufacturer had planned a little obsolescence, something minor that would necessitate a visit by a repair person and quick replacement with a high-markup part. I wonder if there is a name for obsolescence that is planned? If not, there should be.

This little bearing that wore out looks like it should last about 10 years. The date of manufacture of my refrigerator was 2/19/2000. It started making noise about six weeks ago today, on Friday, Febuary 19, 2010. Something like that. Truth be told, it's been making noise for the last year, but until Friday, Febuary 19, only the kind that goes away when you whack the side of the fridge.

To fix my fridge, I didn't replace the bearing or the fan assembly. Instead, I attacked the next-most wearable surface, and used a utility knife to cut 1/8” off the end of each of the fan blades. When I plugged the unit back in, the blades spun free & clear and that should be the end of that problem until the bearing wears out another 1/16”.

Which brings us to the fun part. When I bought my garden-variety townhouse in the poor section of Minnesota's wealthiest city, I decided to get a few toys, namely an air compressor and a shop vac.

While I had the back of the refrigerator off, I used compressed air to clean off the coils and magic cooling parts underneath the unit. I had vacuumed them once, but 90 PSI makes quite a breeze and was a little more effective. I dislodged and redistributed all kinds of dust bunnies the size of, well, small rabbits. They created a debris field in my living room reminiscent of the Titanic's, as if rendered in dust.

Cleaning up these dust bunnies the size of small rabbits fell to my shop vac. It did the job so quickly and thoroughly, that there is no trace of dust in my kitchen or living room. Except on the dust mask I was wearing. It turned dark gray, just short of black. That's a lot of dust that didn't end up in my lungs. Good idea, wearing a dust mask.

If I'd known that I would use my shop vac toy as often as I do, I would have gotten the next size up. And a little unsolicited advice for you: if you use your shop vac in the house, like I have for several projects, using a HEPA-quality filter is mandatory. In fact, after my quick cleanup today, I can honestly say that the $30 HEPA filter would be cheap at twice the price.

Thus ends my refrigerator story, for now. When it started making noise, I thought I might need to get a new one, but not yet, it seems. As fun as getting a shiny new toy - with ice maker, of course - would be, I'll keep the cash in pocket a little longer. Maybe until the next part that is designed to fail fails. Has anyone come up with a name for obsolescence that is planned yet?

How to Make Glue

2010-03-23T20:16:00.001-05:00

Start out with two russet potatos. Cook in a 375° oven about two hours. Remove from oven, let cool for about five minutes. Cut into 1" pieces. Place into food processor, along with a pat of butter and a dollop of sour cream. Run food processor until potatos are smooth, about 10-15 seconds. Use plaster trowel to remove from food processor. Spread on surface needing adhesive or, very optionally, eat.

Do not ask me how I came to know this formula for glue.

Corporations are People? Really?

2010-03-16T17:27:00.001-05:00

I just read an article about the recent Supreme Court decision that will allow corporations to directly fund political campaigns, because, the 5-4 majority says, corporations have the same first amendment rights as citizens.

OK, I have no problem with that concept but only if, in addition to possessing the rights of citizens, corporations also have the same responsibilities. If a corporation commits a crime, then the board of directors AND officers must serve the sentence. If a corporation litters, then the whole group cools their heels in the county pokey for 30 days. A defective product leads to a negligent homicide verdict? Mr CEO spends 10 years in prison. Hard time, just like any citizen would.

Could anything be more fair? Wouldn't you like to live in a USA where businesses can't hide behind the letters INC?

Last Tires

2010-03-03T19:00:00.003-06:00

I put on the last set of tires my S10 will ever have last fall. Just before the snow season started, I visited my local tire store and got a set of snow tires and put them on all four wheels, even though I only have a two-wheel-drive truck. I slipped and slided too much for my taste the last few winters, so I got as aggressive a tread pattern as I could and still be able to drive it year-round. Take a look. Guess which is before and which is after.

It is just lovely having snow tires instead of all-seasons. Why didn't I do it years ago? Oh, yeah, I wasn't quite as flush when I put the last ones on in 2002. I went with the least expensive option. Considering these tires were less than $100 more than all-seasons, it was money well spent. With this rubber, I don't slip, I don't slide. I get where I'm going in one piece, and with a lot less sand in the bed.

When I say it's the last set of tires, I'mexpecting but note hoping that the truck will give out before the tires wear out. The tires are probably good for 40,000 miles. As long as I continue to work for the Benevolent Coloradans and have a commute that lasts exactly as long as the song “Margaritaville,” I shouldn't need to drive more than 4000 miles a year. That means the tires might last ten years but the rust on the truck will eat it alive much sooner than that. Not only that, another 40,000 miles puts me awfully close to 200,000, which is more miles than maybe I should expect out of a 1995 S10. Plus, I'm due for a major repair, be it a starter, alternator or whatnot. If the almost-inevitable repair is too big, I'll just buy a new truck. I'm hoping to get a few more years out of the old truck so I have time to save up and pay cash for the new one. No matter how it plays out, I'd be willing to bet that the truck dies before the new tires wear out.

Time for a New Faucet

2010-02-27T22:54:00.002-06:00

My old kitchen faucet was leaking so I decided to replace it and upgrade while I was at it. You can see what was what and what is now in the before and after pictures.

Surprisingly, it didn't take too long, less than two hours. The job isn't technically done, though. I need another hand. The new faucet is only hand tight, as I couldn't hold it still and twist the wrench at the same time. The next time I have a visitor, even my poor old gray-haired mother, that person will be drafted to hold the faucet while I tighten it from underneath. Until then, I will be gentle.

The longest part of the job was removing the dry plumber's putty from where the old faucet was seated. After a while, I got impatient and used a razor blade. There are a few scratches here and there, but I figure a little abrasive cleanser ought to hide those.

I have to hide the hole where the old sprayer came up. I guess that means a soap dispenser, so another trip to the home store is in my future.

I don't know if I will call it my next project, but tile for the backsplash has been ordered. With prep and cutting, that will be a big job. My brother “Chuck” gave me a Christmas present of an indeterminate amount of help for household projects. Tile in the kitchen might be more than he bargained for, but we'll see. I certainly should have called him over for the sink.

National Public Radio

2010-02-27T12:07:00.001-06:00

I don't know if it is significant or not, but the fine folks at Car Talk are no longer identifying themselves as being with National Public Radio. At the end of the show or into a station break, they used to say “This is NPR, National Public Radio.” Now, they say “This is NPR.”

A small change, to be sure, and probably meaningless but it's upsetting my internal sense of rhythm or timing or pickiness or something. I wish they'd go back to the old way.

Update 3:20 pm

Peter Sagal is also saying just "NPR" when Wait Wait Don't Tell Me goes into a break. I don't mind change but it's still messing with my head a bit. And if somebody at NPR decided they need to be known as "NPR" for the same reasons Kentucky Fried Chicken decided to be "KFC," then I am going to ridicule them mercilessly. But still listen.

Discover Card is Mean, Evil and Unethical

2010-02-27T06:34:00.002-06:00

I've heard that if you believe that people are nice, the people you meet will turn out to be nice. I'd like to add to that saying. If you believe financial services companies are nice, you will pay for that belief.

I started my relationship (mental note: try not to anthropormorphise corporations - people, they ain't) with Discover Card in 1986. I worked at a radio station that carried the Minnesota Twins and 1986 was good year for them. I decided to attend a few games the next season. Having heard the commercials for the Twins ticket office a gazillion times, I knew that they only accepted Discover Card, so I applied for one. I attended a few games, the Twins won the World Series and a few other nice things happened in 1987. Life was good.

At first, Discover was my only credit card but others joined it. I began using it as a cash management tool. I always made a payment and only during periods of unemployment did I ever carry a balance. Over the past 24 years, I've charged over $78,000 dollars in purchases and paid only $140 in interest and fees.

Until December, 2009. We now live in the internet age, so to make a payment, I simply go to their web site, select a date and amount, and like financial liposuction, money magically jumps from my account to theirs. Like an idiot, I looked for a way to improve on relative perfection. I saw that Discover allowed a person to schedule automatic payments. OK, if I ever forgot to schedule a payment, WHICH BOTH GOOGLE AND QUICKEN AUTOMATICALLY REMIND ME TO DO EVERY MONTH, Discover would take care of it. I opted to have the minimum payment go automatically, which means I would have to schedule the remaining balance. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

I did this in October, 2009, and received an e-mail stating that my first auto-payment would happen on December 20. Since the statement cycle date is the 20th, that seemed like perfect timing - the minimum monthly payment would show up on the last day of the cycle. In mid-December, I scheduled a payment of the remainder of the balance. Let's say my total payment was $500 and the minimum was $20. I entered $480 in the manual payment amount and got on with my life.

Until the next statement came, which showed that I hadn't made the minimum part of the payment. My $480 was there, just not the $20. Because of that, I was dinged over $10 in interest. Not happy. A forensic review was instigated.

From my perspective, two things went wrong. From Discover Card's perspective, two things went right. First, the minimum payment date. The e-mail said the payment would be processed on the 20th. But, as I discovered, the 20th is not the last day of the billing cycle, it's the first of the next. The minimum payment - the AUTOMATIC minimum payment for the cycle - was scheduled for the FOLLOWING cycle. Discover Card has rigged it so that if you use their help to make payments, you will always be one cycle behind, which allows them to charge you interest every month. That's evil. The web site says they are doing something wonderful for you while they are really using your gullibility or lack of attention to detail to maximize their financial grip on you.

The other thing that went wrong was that the automatic payment never happened. Not on the 20th, not in the week or so after, either. They intentionally skipped the payment in order to allow the interest charges to pile up another month. My guess is the first minimum payment would have happened on January 20 and most people would've blamed themselves for miscalculating when the payments would start. Bastards. Unethical bastards.

Well, that's what you get for trusting a big nameless, faceless corporation (Discover Card CEO: David Nelms. Bastard). Discover Card has been my primary card for 24 years and they screwed me over like I was just a guy on the street. Which is what I really am. I should know better.

In all fairness, I am not their best customer. I pay my balance every month - unless they “help” - so I don't pay $39 late fees or 19% interest. Intentionally. No, they only make money off of me by taking a 2.1% fee from the businesses I patronize. So, $78,000 over 24 years, that's $1600. Not much for saving me from hundreds of extra trips to the cash machine or having to carry a checkbook. Still, they make 2.1% on every transaction and last year I put almost $6000 on my Discover Card. They made $126 off me last year and stood to make that much indefinitely. That's not a bad return on the service delivered. It's getting greedy that turns people evil and unethical.

So what's my recourse? No longer giving them the 2.1% on my $6000? That's a no brainer. I'll keep the card but just stop using it. But there's a twist. Discover has a cash back program. They credit your account 1/4 of 1% of the balance every month. I haven't been paying much attention to that part of my statement so it grew to several hundred dollars. They only let you cash out $50 of that credit at a time, and wouldn't you know it, I am $4 from the next $50 multiple. I'm going to have to continue using the card until the 0.25% rebate gives me that even $50 then I'm outa there. The card will sit in a drawer until my righteous umbrage goes away. Years, maybe forever.

But, of course, there's more. Discover is one of two cards I carry, so I'm able to not only deprive Discover of the fees they would've gotten from me on the usual charges but I get to give them to another company. Ha. And $6000 in routine purchases last year? It would have been much more this year, what with new appliances and more work on the house. Ha ha. You wanted $10 interest; you lost hundreds in fees. Over the the next few years, you lost maybe several thousands of dollars. That's what you get for being mean, evil and unethical. But you got that $10.

Home Improvement - Fan Timer

2010-02-06T19:27:00.002-06:00

For once, on a Saturday, I actually did some home improvement rather than just think about it. I swapped out a standard toggle switch for the fan in my upstairs bathroom with a fancy timer switch. Here, take a look.

I'm a big believer in removing the steam from a bathroom as quickly as possible after a shower has ended. Well, technically, BEFORE the shower starts, by flipping the switch before running the water, but you get the idea.

The fan in the bathroom when I bought the house was a very noisy one, so I replaced it with a whisper-quite model shortly after I moved in. It's been wonderful to hear only a little whir when I run the fan rather than a jet engine-like growl.

As exciting as a quiet fan is, I realized that I often leave the house for the day while the fan is still doing its business. When I return 10, 12, 14 hours later, it's still running, pushing heated or cooled air out of the building long after the morning shower's steam has left. It's also wasting 30 watts of electricity per hour. A timer switch was called for.

I don't like your typical timer switches, those with dials or sliders, and especially those that tick while they work. I looked around and finally found the one I liked - this electronic beauty with six presets. The best part is that once I select a time, one minute in the photo above, all I have to do the next time is hit the lower button and it will use that time as the "On" interval. Sloth - I love it! And less than $30 in parts; less than an hour to install. Much of that hour was trudging from upstairs to the basement to flip the breaker a few times.

I also upgraded the switch plate from plastic to metal. In my recent painting adventures (What? I haven't blogged about them yet?) I discovered many of the cheap plastic face plates in the house have cracks. I guess someone over-tightened each of them one too many times. Most were cracked before I got to them in case you're wondering. Nonetheless, the metal faceplate will hold up much better, no doubt.

Tomorrow, if it's not snowing too badly at 9:00, I go shopping for parts for my next project. I don't know what that project will be - it depends what I find at the home store that fits my designs. Hint: I've been shopping for tile for the backsplash for 16 months - I probably won't be coming back with tile. And no paint - definitely no paint.

Opening Lines

2009-12-29T03:08:00.003-06:00

Call me Ishmael. Moby Dick

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. A Tale of Two Cities

Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

Let Me In!

2009-12-18T08:46:00.001-06:00

I listened to a story on immigration this morning. So many people – people presumably just like me – seem so angry about immigrants and are dead-set about open borders. That got me thinking as to how I got here.

I’m an average American citizen, or so I like to believe. I was born in the USA; as were my parents and grandparents. Before that, however, at some point every one of my ancestors arrived on this continent as an undocumented alien, but – big distinction here – with open arms.

Most of my ancestors came from Holland, Germany, England and Ireland in the 18th and 19th centuries. Their children were instant citizens and we’re all living happily ever after. Some of my ancestors arrived 5-10,000 years ago from Asia – so long ago that they are now considered “natives.”

Let’s face it. Throughout all of human history, until the middle of the industrial revolution, no one ever voluntarily relocated. Relocation is a messy and dangerous effort. It takes an affluent society to allow voluntary relocation. My ancestors were desperate enough to hop in boats or walk thousands of miles for a chance at a less horrific life. My existence shows they lucked out. Many millions did not. Who are we to shut our borders to people who want to risk everything on a chance for a better existence when our ancestors did the same thing, just earlier?

The Rule of Four

2009-12-12T17:27:00.002-06:00

I got hit by the rule of four this afternoon. After I returned from a movie and before I even set foot in the house, I decided to replace the garage door bottom seal. It's just a U-shaped piece of rubber that rides in two channels at the bottom of the door. I already had the replacement part; how hard could it be?

I figured it would take 10-12 minutes to complete the project. If I had thought it would take any longer, I would have had lunch first.

Taking out the old was more involved than I thought because somewhere in the door's history, it hit something that pinched one of the channels. It took a while to spot that but it only took a screwdriver to fix.

Putting the new seal in would have been no big deal if I had taken the seal out of the package and let it stretch. Instead, I had a piece of recently folded rubber that wanted to stay folded, bending the little tabs that slide through the grooves. A little silicon spray and and a lot of muscle and in it went.

All told, the project took about 45 minutes. Let's see - I estimated 10-12, it took 45. Yep, smack dab inside the rule of four.

I came up with the rule of four when I was repairing the junkers I drove during my twenties. I was always replacing or repairing something and I noticed it always took about four times longer to replace that alternator or starter or do that oil change than I originally estimated. Later, in college, I noticed it took four hours to write a computer program that at first glance I thought would take one. Today, at work, cleaning customer data, keying in orders, preparing for meetings, whatever, they all take four times longer than I expect. No wonder I miss so many deadlines. Of course, I'm not the only one who does it, so I fit right in.

Even this blog post. I estimated it would take five minutes to write. It's been 20. And that folks, is the rule of four.

Destroying My House - in a Good Way

2009-12-10T20:33:00.004-06:00

I haven't finished reassembling my downstairs powder room after its repainting last weekend (trim is still undone) but I've started to prep the upstairs bathroom for repainting. The first thing was removing some wallpaper flower appliques near the ceiling. I only did a little damage there.

Next, I decided to get rid of this thing. It could charitably be called a cabinet. I've just been calling it an eyesore.

It's a standard bathroom fixture - pressed wood with two shelves covered by the doors and one shelf open. I've always associated it - and I've seen them in dozens of bathrooms over the years - with cheap. My house isn't crafted of the highest quality materials necessarily but it is within my power to remove this cheap cabinet so I did.

See how the room opens up without it? Maybe it's the extra four square feet of reflective area but I think the whole room is now brighter without the light-sucking wood-like veneer. I'll have to install some open shelves or something in the future but for now, I'm enjoying the wide open space.

I was going to trash the cabinet but I think I will hang it in the garage. One can always use more storage space in the garage, especially since the unit is already paid for.

My camera doesn't record true colors very well. The actual color of the bathroom is best described as olive and these pictures show it lighter than it really is. What color will it be in a week? Wait and see.

OK, it'll probably still be olive, only with areas of spackle on it. You'll have to wait and see to find out what the new color will be - eventually.

10,000!

2009-11-28T16:16:00.003-06:00

When I loaded some podcasts this morning, my iPod hit a milestone - 10,000 titles.

Unlike the way iTunes displays the count, I say “titles” because not every selection is a song. I constantly cycle through a bunch of podcasts and have a few comedy albums in inventory. Taking out the spoken-word titles, I still have 9903 songs on the unit. That's quite a few. Don't immediately draw a conclusion that that amount is too many - except for a few dozen new songs I'm trying out, I still like all the tunes and can identify most of them using the old “Name That Tune” starting point of seven notes. We all have our own idea of how much music is just right.

Including the podcasts and comedy recordings, iTunes says it would take 28 days, 16 hours, 11 minutes and nine seconds to listen to the whole kit & caboodle.

I've already listened to nine podcasts today so the total is back below 10,000, but for a brief period, much like the stock market, I could say I was at a totally arbitrary and meaningless - yet cool - point.

What Are These People Thinking?

2009-11-26T20:05:00.001-06:00

Wait, wait, don't tell me. I really don't want to know.

After spending a delightful day chauffeuring my elderly parents out to the farm and back for a Thanksgiving lunch, I headed home. Traveling down 494 in Bloomington at 7:17PM, what did I see?

A line of 30-40 people at the door to Best Buy. Yes, a store that opens its doors tomorrow morning at 4:00AM. 7:17PM people.

Black Friday shopping is in and of itself nuts. But lining up to go to Best Buy nine hours or more before it opens? That's just crazy.

Big Bang Theory

2009-11-23T21:14:00.000-06:00

Tonight's Big Bang Theory was not only one of the funniest episodes of a show that is consistently very funny, it contained the intersection of three of my favorite things:

Science Friday on National Public Radio;
Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica;
the word Exothermic.

Yes, in my life, it's the simple pleasures.

It's No Goldwing

2009-11-22T17:17:00.002-06:00

My new bike. I bought it a few weeks ago, just in time to put it into storage for the Winter. I plan on giving it a lot of use next season and a few seasons after that. Until then, I'm tripping over it in my garage.

No, it won't be replacing the Goldwing.

Somebody Had a Good Time Last Night

2009-11-22T17:00:00.002-06:00

Up until the millisecond where it stopped being fun. I found this wreck as I was returning from the store this morning. It's on my street, about 2/10ths of a mile from my house. I don't recognize the car - it could be a neighbor's or carrying a neighbor. Both airbags deployed. They were moving pretty fast at the time of impact, especially since they were 50 feet from a T-intersection. They were headed for trouble one way or another.

I talked to the neighbor who belongs to the front yard where the car came to rest. She didn't hear anything last night. She could be a drunk for all I know, so let's assume there was some noise at the moment of impact and probably some ambulance and constabulary noises. Doesn't look like there would have been any tire screeching, though - no skid marks. I think the driver's window was down intentionally, as there is no broken glass.

That's a funny place to park a car.

The fact there is no water in this photograph is a testament to the strength of the fire hydrants in Minnetonka.

The passenger airbag broke the the windshield and knocked the rear-view mirror loose.

1000 and Still Dropping

2009-11-18T17:43:00.000-06:00

My quest to listen to every song in my music collection is progressing nicely. Over the weekend the number remaining dropped below 1000. At the time I ran a new calculation to project when I'll hit zero and it came out as December 3, same as when I calculated on October 29. I must have picked up the pace the last couple of days as I'm down to 725 today and the new projection is December 1. Maybe with the holiday weekend in there, I might increase my burn rate even further and hit zero in late November.

Hey, it's my hobby. I don't care if I'm boring you.

The odds of who will play the last song have shifted since the last post. The artist with most songs remaining is...Kathy Mattea. Hey, where have I heard that name recently? Chicago, Debbie Gibson, Toto, the Eagles and Kylie Minogue are a little behind. Most of the remaining artists have only one or two songs left in the unplayed list.

I'm afraid “One (is the Loneliest Number)” by Three Dog Night has already played but it would be real cool if that had turned out to be the final song.

Kathy Mattea

2009-11-12T19:36:00.000-06:00

This is weird. I'm sitting here writing my movie blog and listening to music. "Summer of My Dreams" by Kathy Mattea comes on and I think, "I've got a date with her this weekend." I actually do. She's doing a concert with the Minnesota Orchestra on Saturday and playing a regular show on Sunday. I have tickets to both.

Then my phone beeps. It's a voice mail from Orchestra Hall saying that the KM shows are postponed due to illness. Postponed to next June. Wow. Shocking news.

Wait. I was listening to Kathy Mattea sing about Summer while I was daydreaming about her concerts and I get a message saying the concerts are postponed until Summer. My imagination is not so good that I could make this stuff up.

2000 and Dropping Fast

2009-10-29T21:25:00.001-05:00

No, I'm not talking about the NASDAQ index, but rather how many songs I have to listen to in order to have heard them all.

I built a new computer last Spring and loaded my digital music collection on it - you can read a few posts about it from the June 2009 archives. I use iTunes and an iPod to listen to the music. When I migrated to the new computer, I lost all history, so I'm taking the opportunity to listen to every song once before spooling up my usual low-effort playlist. That playlist plays songs randomly but excludes songs that haven't been played in the last four months.

I started on June 14. I don't know the exact count of songs at that time because I frequently add and delete, but today, excluding podcasts and comedy albums, I have 9875 song files. Every day when I go to work, I listen to the playlist - I named it “Breaking In” - that randomly selects songs and deletes them from the list after they've been played once. As of this morning, the count remaining was 1995.

It took me 138 days to get below 2000. At that rate of usage, it will take another 35 days to get down to zero. That's December 3. After that, I'll go back to my usual low-effort playlist. I may have to adjust it a little, because if I used it today, there would be a whopping 717 songs on it that were not played in the last four months.

What will be the last song to get its first play? Well, that's anyone's guess but I know (9875-1995=) 7880 songs that it won't be. It has the highest chance of being a song by Chicago. I have 37 Chicago songs remaining. Chicago+The Beatles+Toto equals a cool hundred, or slightly more than 5% of the 1995. Adding Debbie Gibson, Kathy Mattea, The Bangles, Bob Seger and The Eagles gives us another hundred. Those eight artists have a 10% probability of performing the final song but since it's random, it could be any of the 1995 left. I'll find out on or about December 3.

For the detail oriented, the shortest song in my collection is the closing theme to “WKRP in Cincinnati,” clocking in at 28 seconds. The longest file is “Glad” & “Freedom Rider” from a live album by Traffic, at 20:59. Traffic tends to jam on their live stuff and this file is two songs joined together that really couldn't be separated. The longest single song in the collection is “Alice's Restaurant” by Arlo Guthrie, clocking in at 18:09.

I haven't just been listening to the songs that have never been played. I occasionally listen to albums and sometimes by whim. The most listened to song since June 14 is “Save it for a Rainy Day” by Minneapolis' own Jayhawks, with a playcount of six. Three songs are tied at five. Two of those are due to a saxophone jag I went on last month. “How Bad Do You Want It?” by Don Henley and “Wooly Bully” by Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs both have great sax. Shannon Curfman's “I Don't Make Promises (I Can't Break)” rounds out the five-count tunes. I have 20 songs with a playcount of four.

A Race Against NaCl

2009-10-24T19:45:00.002-05:00

I bought my 1995 S10 in January 1997, with 33,000 miles on it. It hit 150,000 this past summer. It was the nicest vehicle I had ever owned at the time so I began maintaining it with an eye towards getting 200,000 miles out of it.

Before I continue, let me throw a little geek at you. I keep a spreadsheet tracking gas usage, maintenance and the like. On one of the tabs is a grid of how many miles are on the odometer on the first of the month. From that, I do a calculation that projects how many miles I will drive in the next year based on miles driven in the past three years. It's just for fun, but can be quite illustrative.

When I bought the S10, I lived in Alpharetta, Georgia and worked about 25 miles away in Free Home (Next to Magnolia Interiors on Hwy 20. Hi Blake!). That 50 mile daily round trip gave me a 20,000 mile annual usage. I figured I'd hit 200k in 2005. That pace lasted only two years, as I moved back to Minnesota and, after bunking at my sister T's for half a year, I rented an apartment 0.6 miles from my employer. That lasted two years, when my employer moved their offices to a location 0.5 miles from my residence. I kept that apartment for another five years.

Having a negligible commute really cuts down on the miles so my floating annual average settled down to between 3500 and 4000. That pushes my current projected date to hit 200,000 to May 5, 2017, or as I keep track of time, Jackie Prescott's 44th birthday. Well, it will likely go past Jackie's 44th, as I have a round trip to Florida from 2007 pushing up the three-year average.

However.

Maintaining the engine, transmission, etc, is only going to get me so far. Although I have tried to keep the body clean for the most part, I have not rigorously washed it. And in Minnesota, they coat the roads with salt to melt ice to make it safer for us to drive. While I appreciate safe roads, the sodium and chloride molecules are very sociable and like to introduce oxygen molecules to the iron molecules in the steel of the body. In other words, rust.

My S10 has the cancer.

Rust is a fatal disease for a car. It is now a matter of time before the rust is so bad that the well-maintained mechanicals are irrelevant. May 5, 2017? The rust is so bad that Jackie Prescott may still be in her child-bearing years when the S10 is ruled inoperable. Take a look, below.

Oh, and it's been since September 1994 since I've seen Jackie but she was hot enough to remember. And given how I remember minutiae, it's easy to remember someone's birthday for no particular reason. If there was, for example, a major, festive North American holiday or something on May 5, I might use that to keep track of time instead, but alas, I cannot think of one.

Insulation Works

2009-09-30T09:56:00.001-05:00

I have a very nice camera. I am a lousy photographer but I have a nice camera. Doesn't matter, since I didn't have it with me this morning. Could've used it. If I could have snapped a picture, I would just post it and save me from writing this. I'll try to keep it under 1000 words.

There was frost on the pumpkins this morning, as well as on roofs. I left for work this morning before the sun rose and before the air started warming up. The frost on the roof of my building seemed to be melting only due to the heat coming up from the living units below.

But not my unit. I had 13" of insulation added to my attic space last fall over the existing 6-8" that came with the place. I assume none of my neighbors have done likewise. While my roof had a thick layer of frost on it, except near the bathroom exhaust fan vent, my neighbors all had wet, drippy layers of dew. I assume that at some point in the night, we all started with identical layers of frost but theirs were melted by heat loss. My attic, adequately insulated, preserved the frost.

Since the insulation wasn't free, it's good to be able to see evidence that it is working. I'm saving money on heating and cooling, and presumably extending the life of my furnace and air conditioning.

But before I get all high and mighty, it's important to remember that all the insulation in the world isn't going to change the fact that I need to lose 50 lbs. It's good to have perspective even if you don't need to turn the furnace on.

An Apple a Day

2009-09-26T07:35:00.000-05:00

It is apple season in Minnesota, so I decided to buy some this morning and made a trip to my local Rainbow Foods store. Here is what I found.

Macintosh from Michigan
Courtland, also from Michigan
Pink Lady from Washington
Honey Crisp from New York

Oddly, Honey Crisps are my favorite and were created at the University of Minnesota Arboretum but we have to import them from New York? That's just wrong.

Painting, Again

2009-09-13T18:30:00.000-05:00

For those of you that have visited me in the past six months, you're familiar with the 2'x2' patches of beige paint on the delightful lime sherbet-colored walls in my kitchen and powder room. This afternoon I took steps to turn the entire walls into the beige color. Yay me!

Step one was removing the trim. The upper trim on the kitchen wall broke as it came off, so replacing and upgrading is in store for that. Not a big deal. The baseboard trim gave me a little trouble but it's not fatal, either. When I redid the entry-way last Winter, I upgraded, so I have some pretty good lengths of spare trim which I can cannibalize.

The people that owned the house prior to me, in addition to having questionable taste in paint colors, had the original vinyl floor in the kitchen replaced with laminate at some point in their ownership and they didn't remove the baseboard trim. That means, in addition to a visible wall-to-floor joint, I had to wrestle with the small pieces of rim abutting the cupboard. The layout of the flooring and trim is not the way I would do it and I'm notorious for using shortcuts, so you know it's bad. It may accelerate my plans to put tile on the kitchen floor, or I could just get used to it. Even money on that bet.

There is a lot of surface prep to do before primer hits wall, so it will be next weekend at the earliest before I dig out the paint brushes. When this project is done, which I still hope will be in 2009, I will start the kitchen backsplash project. No guarantees though that the backsplash will be done, or even started, it 2009.

Curses! Foiled Again, for the First Time

2009-09-12T12:05:00.001-05:00

President Obama is visiting the Twin Cities today. While I have no desire to go to the event, I live under the incoming flight paths for planes going to the Minneapolis-St Paul airport. Here in the wrong side of Fabulous Minnetonka, arriving planes fly low and slow enough to allow me to capture some good airborne photographs. I was hoping to get a few good snapshots as Air Force One flew over, but it was not to be. Incoming planes are coming in from the east today, so no flyovers in my neighborhood. I knew something was bading poorly for my photographs about 7:30 this morning, when I'd been up for 15 minutes and hadn't heard a single plane coming in.

I saw AF1 come in three times over the years when the pretender was in it. The plane flew so low each time I felt I could reach up and touch it. I couldn't have caught it, though, as it was moving maybe twice as fast as a regular 747 does on arrival. I guess you can fly as fast as you want when they clear the skies for you.

I'll try to get some pictures the next time President Obama is in town. Since my brother and sister-in-law live under the east side arrival patterns, I'll make arrangements to watch from their house if the skies are quiet on my side of town. Or maybe I can get CJ to take the pictures for me and I won't even have to get up. Hmm...

Pizza Tonight

2009-08-30T19:05:00.003-05:00

My Domino's Pizza delivery guy tonight was named Olexander. He had a vaguely eastern European look to him and he grunted in what could have been Russian monosyllables. That got me thinking about some of the people I worked with at Domino's in my hometown. At times, good old American mutts like myself were outnumbered by the foreign-originated guys. The university in my hometown seemed to recruit international students and many of them liked to deliver pizzas.

There was Biplab, from India.

Saleem, from Jordan, I think.

Ali, from Iran. He came to Minnesota from Germany, so his Persian accent had a distinctly German tinge.

Mikhail, from Georgia. Soviet, not peach. Actually I don't think that's how he spelled his name. It sounded exactly like Michael, but wasn't spelled that way.

Jabran. I have no idea where he was from, could have been anywhere from Bangladesh to Cypress, but his English was very good.

Park, from South Korea. Technically, Park was his last name, but he'd rather we call him that than mangle his given name.

I think we had a Kuwaiti or UAE native at one point but I can't recall his name. There were others too, no doubt but those are the ones that stand out.

In non-foreign names, we had a Kyra, pronounced Keer-ah but everyone, employees included, called her Kye-rah. Or maybe it was the other way around. It's been a long time.

We had an Ann, but I called her Annabel. After a few months, other people started to as well. One of several reasons she ended up disliking me. A lot.

Oh, and if anyone's wondering, yes, I brought Susan amaretto sours in that 32 oz sip container on slow nights when she was running the inside. She wasn't a driver, folks, and she was, well, hot. What's a guy to do?

This stroll down memory lane was brought to you by my forgetfulness. I have to wait 30 minutes after taking my evening pill before eating and I remembered to take it just as Olexander was pulling in the driveway. At least the pizza won't burn the roof of my mouth tonight. Done that more than a few times in my years in the trenches.

The Postal Service

2009-08-26T20:14:00.001-05:00

People like to badmouth the US Postal Service. Well, how about this? I ordered a CD from an Amazon Marketplace seller on Friday. It was in my mailbox Monday. Two days to get a CD from Indiana to Minnesota in perfectly good shape.

Good job, mail people.

Fav-ree

2009-08-18T22:09:00.000-05:00

I used to be a rabid Vikings fan. All my life until January 1999, when Gary Anderson missed a field goal and the Vikings missed out on going to the Super Bowl. It broke me. I became indifferent to the sport and to the Vikings in particular.

Today, the Minnesota Vikings signed Bret Farve to be their quarterback. I officially no longer give a crap at all about the Vikings. The logic of employing their greatest rival, a guy who smacked them down at will for 16 years is totally lost on me. I just don't give a crap anymore.

Why I'm in Favor of Health Care Reform

2009-08-12T18:24:00.000-05:00

Want to know why I'm in favor of a public option for health care, preferably single-payer?

My employer selected United Health Care (UHC) as our medical insurance administrator. They've done a fine job for me so far, no complaints aside from a kludgy web site.

The CEO of UHC has cashed in over $127 million in stock options SO FAR in 2009. He's eligible to exercise another $744 million.

I would rather have a government bureaucrat deciding my health care claims using rules set by Congress than a UHC bureaucrat deciding the claims based on a missive from a CEO trying to maximize shareholder value.

There are other reasons, no doubt, but that's the only reason I need.

24x7

2009-07-11T07:34:00.000-05:00

Let's start using the familiar phrase "24x7" correctly. You usually hear it as "24x7x365."

The 24 refers to 24 hours in a day. No problem.

The 7 refers to the days in a week. No problem.

There are 365 days in a year. Huh? We've already gone from days to weeks, now we're back to days? That's stupid. It's also very common.

Logically, it should go from days to weeks to years - 24x7x52. It's even more logical and simpler to say 24x365.

Of course, it's even simpler to skip the cliche and just say "All the time," but people love to speak in gibberish (including me). So let's just think it through.

If you need to emphasive something that's always there, just say "24 hours."

If you want to emphasize a week, it's "24x7."

If you want to point out something that is present for an annual period, it's "24x7x52."

Let's take it to a comic extreme. Why stop at a year? Why start with an hour? 60x60x24x7x52x100x10. That's seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, years, centuries in a millenium.

Unless you're talking about dogs. A dog-year could be described as 24x7x365.

I'm not a dog person.

I Don't Know What I Did

2009-07-09T19:47:00.001-05:00

But it worked. My internet service is back up.

I work in customer support, so I know firsthand that things that shouldn't break do, and things that have no business working work, but I didn't do anything to my computer that should have made a difference, yet here we are.

Since the built-in ethernet connection wasn't working, I slipped the ethernet card from my old computer into the new one. After an hour of tinkering with no success, I pulled out the card and rebooted. As soon as I enabled the on-board port, my internet connection was restored. That's right, all I did was put in a card that I really didn't think would help, then removed it. And it fixed the connection.

I'm so excited by this development that, after I post this on the blog, I'm not going to do anything that might make the connection break.

I didn't hear from the cycle shop today so I don't know how lucky I am overall, but at this moment, things are looking up.

Shhhh. Don't jinx it.

If It Weren't for Bad Luck...

2009-07-09T13:14:00.001-05:00

I've had a string of bad luck the past couple of weeks. I still have my health, but somedays it feels like the world is out to get me.

The air conditioning in my car went out at the beginning of last summer. I've been putting off getting it repaired because of the expense, and because I usually don't use the car very much during the summer. I am using it more this summer because...

The starter went out on my Goldwing. It's in the shop right now. Hopefully, it won't be too major of a repair. It's under warranty so my pocketbook should be OK, but the Minnesota cycling season is short enough the way it is - don't want to miss too many beautiful July days.

When I built my new computer, I was never able to make it network with the old one, so I put off moving programs and data over to the new one. That's bad luck on top of the human failing of procrastination. That caused more bad luck.

The old computer died the other night. Diagnostics point to the mother board as the culprit. Fine, the hard drives survived, so I took them out and tried to make them work in the new computer. Not so easy - more bad luck. The new computer kept using an old hard drive as the boot drive. After three painful hours, I realized that the new computer's BIOS was automatically setting itself to use the most recently installed hard drive as the boot drive, even though I was setting the C: drive manually. Maddening.

I made it work and was able to copy files over after that, but...

My internet connection failed. Last night, I spent three hours diagnosing it, including 45 minutes on the phone with Comcast Tech Support. It turns out I had at least three issues at once, or maybe one issue that affected three components. The Comcast guy and I got the cable modem to connect again, then after another hour of tinkering, I was able to get the router back up, but the new computer is still not working. I can see that the computer is connected to the router but it's not connecting to the internet. Maddening.

So I've had a string of bad luck lately. Yet, it's not all bad. No one in the pre-industrial world had air conditioning in their house, like I do. No one had refrigerated food. No one had a device in their pocket that could contact another person anywhere in the world, like I do. No one had the ability to watch "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" at a time of their choosing, like I do. No one had a device in their other pocket that would play their 9000 favorite songs at any time, either.

I have a bunch of conveniences and I have my health. But it still sucks to not have the internet or a motorcycle.

(written and posted at work)

A Day at the Office

2009-07-01T19:03:00.003-05:00

Having trouble picturing what I do at work all day? I get e-mails like this, chock full of jargon. I'll translate below. Names have been changed to protect the innocent and avoid lawsuits filed by the guilty.

From: Mr A
Sent: Wednesday, July 01, 2009
To: ~Reroute Group
Subject: XYZ reroute

I put a skip on XYZ today as a result of troubles we are having with them. We are getting 503 messages with delay of 4 or more seconds causing PDD on the reroute. We are also getting 504 messages indicating gateway timeout after 20 seconds. The 504 messages are dead air calls if they are reported. From the hammer it looked like 10% of the calls to XYZ are having this problem. We also have a number of trouble tickets on calls trying to route to XYZ.

Mr B/NOC is working with XYZ to resolve this problem. When they fix the problem we can increase the SIM’s on trunk group XXXX.

Mr A

Context:

My company provides long distance service to other companies at a wholesale level. We do this by connecting to several other networks, known as carriers. In this e-mail, XYZ is one of our underlying carriers.

Mr A is Translations Engineer for my employer. He decides where calls should route on our network.

Reroute group is a handful of people - like me - who need to know when we have network issues.

A skip is an override in our Lowest Cost Routing tables (LCR). The skip tells the network to treat XYZ as if it doesn't exist. The LCR is a database table that the network uses to determine the cheapest way to route a call.

A 503 message is an error code that you would see if you were logged into a Translations terminal. It means calls are talking too long to connect.

PDD is Post Dial Delay. When you dial a phone number, the amount of time after you enter the 10th digit until the destination switch sends a signal that it is ringing the call is known as the post dial interval. Ideally, the post dial interval should be measured in milliseconds. If you have to refer to the post dial interval as PDD, that's bad. PDD of four or more seconds is very bad. PDD that lasts until the timeout limit of 20 seconds is monstrously bad.

A 504 message is an error code indicating that a carrier has taken a call but hasn't connected it nor have they sent back any indication why the call isn't connecting. This is not a message you want to see. After 20 seconds, the network times out, or stops trying to connect the call.

The Hammer. I have no idea what that means.

10% means that XYZ is connecting most calls (90%) just fine but is trying to offload some of the calls to another carrier and not succeeding. The calls they are not connecting are probably ones that cost a lot to terminate. XYZ has their own LCR and it is busy trying to offload the calls to another carrier who doesn't know how much the calls cost to terminate, aka a sucker. In theory, XYZ should begin termination of all calls in a few milliseconds and do it on their network. In practice, they'll spend a few seconds trying to find another sucker to do it. That 504 error tells us they didn't find a sucker and they won't do it themselves.

A trouble ticket is a way to report and track troubles.

Mr B is the supervisor of the Network Operations Center. When stuff breaks on the network, the NOC fixes it.

SIM stands for simultaneous call. It's a measure of capacity - how many calls are being simulaneously fed into a trunk group.

A Trunk Group is a circuit going from point A to point B, in this case from our network to XYZ's.

The last paragraph can be summarized thusly: Mr Y will see if XYZ is aware of the problem or not. If it's intentional, we stop sending them calls for a while. It may be unintentional, which means that when they fix the problem on their network, Mr X will increase the number of calls we send them (remove the skip).

This is an ordinary message from an ordinary day for me. There's plenty more jargon where this came from.

Cynical Marketing

2009-06-28T19:42:00.001-05:00

We live in an age of cynical marketing and I don't like it. I don't like it at all.

I define cynical marketing as when an advertiser preys on the uninformed, the ignorant or the easily swayed.

A classic example is putting the phrase "Digital Ready" on speakers, headphones or earbuds. Sound, as perceived by the human ear, is analog. It's the relative difference between waves of air pressure. Speakers generate analog sound - it's how they work. Speakers do not know what the original source of the sound is, they just take electrons coming on from wires, generate a magnetic field and use that field to move a cone of paper or similar material which moves air to generate sound. All analog. It doesn't matter if the source of sound is a human singing into a microphone, a string vibrating, a synthesizer, a CD, a vinyl record, or computer's MIDI output, all signals feed into an analog amplifier, which connects to an analog speaker. So there is no reason to put "Digital Ready" on a speaker's packaging unless you want someone to purchase your product instead of an identical product that doesn't state it. You may even charge a little more. Cynical.

I received two examples of cynical marketing recently. One was from Xcel Energy, my electric utility, which I still call - and always will - NSP. They are marketing their appliance warranty service, which is a worthy service as far as I can tell. On their flyer, the second sentence states "Prevent unnecessary liquidation of your assets if one of your appliances breaks down." Liquidation of your assets? Liquidation is a term most commonly used when describing bankruptcy, so NSP describing the consequences of an appliance breakdown in terms of some people's worst fear. What they really mean is that you may have to write out a budget-busting check but they are saying it in a way to generate enough fear to get some people to buy. And when you buy using fear as a criteria, you aren't making rational decisions and that is what they want. See? Cynical. Legal, morally grey, but 100% cynical.

The other mailer I received was from Becker Furniture World. I've never shopped there or even know where it is. This one included a scratch-off card. You scratch off an area to determine whether you get 40%, 45% or 50% off a limited time shopping spree. Imagine my surprise when my card showed 50% off! I got news for you - all the cards said 50% off. The furniture store is trying to find people who aren't smart enough to realize that an unsolicited mailer is always going to give you the highest discount, and to snare people who play scratch-off games, who, by definition, aren't well versed in math. That's right, the store wants customers who aren't smart enough to realize that everyone is getting the same discount and that the prices are probably double what the competition lists. Legal, kinda-sorta ethical, but 100% cynical.

The UnZen of Motorcycle Maintenance

2009-06-14T11:45:00.000-05:00

My Goldwing is on the disabled list with a coolant leak. It's not too bad - the coolant doesn't leak to the ground and the level hasn't dropped appreciably, but I can smell it after driving even the shortest of distances. I can see evidence of the leak in the form of some dried up coolant residue on the left side rear of the engine, but I can't see the offending hose or fitting or what have you.

I just tried to remove enough of the fairing to get at the leak but pulling off all that plastic is pretty complicated and after doing the easy part, I realized it's time to pay for a professional to do the rest. I'll run over to the dealer in Hopkins tomorrow to set up an appointment.

And today would be a perfect day (78°, sunny, calm) to go riding with no particular place to go. Alas.

Digital TV Changeover

2009-06-14T09:27:00.000-05:00

I wonder how many people need to replace Panasonic digital TVs today. I ask because I have one and it almost got thrown out the window yesterday. I'll bet I wasn't the only one.

On the day of the digital TV changeover, three Twin Cities stations changed their underlying frequencies, so I had dead air on those channels. A rescan of channels was called for.

The rescan added the channels that moved but didn't delete the old ones, illustrated by scrolling up the dial and having an extra blank screen in between the functioning channels. After half an hour I was able to delete the ghosts for channels 45 and 9, but channel 5 and its secondary channel were being stubbborn. During the following hour and a half, much frustration ensued.

Now, I'm a gadget geek, have a degree in Computer Science and I read the manual carefully (despite my guy reflexes not to). If I can't figure out something like how to add and delete a channel on a Panasonic TV, then something's wrong with the design.

Long story short, I had to reset all the settings for the TV in order to clear out the old channels. Here's the stupid part. In order to reset, you have to create a PIN. Security for selecting the language, the antenna in and channel settings? Are you kidding? So anyone reading this, presumably just friends and family, the next time you're at my house (and why haven't you visited recently?) and want to reset my TV, the PIN is 0000. Be my guest.

New Computer

2009-06-14T08:58:00.001-05:00

My new computer is up and running. For the technogeeks out there, here are the specs:

Athlon 64 dual-core processor
Four gigabytes RAM
Two one-terrabyte hard drives set up as RAID mirrors

It took a little arguing to get the drives set up as RAID. Here is a summary of the instructions: Load operating system. Use Windows to make a boot disc for the RAID drivers. Use the driver disc when prompted while loading the operating system.

Waitaminute. Fully load the OS, create a disc, use that disc to load the OS? I think the manual was written by a guy named Mobius.

Since I want to migrate all my programs and data from my old machine to the new, it would be real handy to set them up as a home network. Handy, maybe, but not possible. I spent four hours the other night trying to make it happen but they won't speak. Oddly, the new one can see the old one but when I click on it, it says the server is unavailable. I gave up and bought a new flash drive. I still have to load from the old then plug in to the new but having a 16 gig flash drive is like using a dump truck for yard work instead of a wheel barrow. I won't need to make many trips.

Moving Music is Going to Hurt

2009-06-14T08:55:00.002-05:00

iTunes isn't designed to move music to a new computer intact. It has a back-up to disc function, but it only recognizes CD and DVD drives. Since I pulled the DVD drive from the old computer to use in the new one, the only way to off-load the data would be to CD. It would take at least 50 CDs and probably an entire day to execute. Nope, I decided to just move the music files and reinstall. Gone will be the play counts and notes in the files (notes as in "Cool Song," not "Do-Re-Mi") but there are worse things that could happen.

As you've seen in a previous post, my playlists are generally random in nature so play counts are fairly similar based on how long the song has been in the collection. The first song officially loaded, "When Doves Cry" by Prince, went in on December 4, 2003, and has been played 12 times. In contrast, I reloaded "FM" by Steely Dan on December 4, 2008, and it has a play count of 2.

I sometimes listen to albums and special play lists or just individual songs for which I have a yen, so some songs wrack up a higher play count than their randomly heard cousins. Here are my top three:

3) Kay Hanley - Mean Streak (Do You Miss Me, Too?) -- 41 plays
Loaded March 15, 2008. Yes, it's that good of a song.

2) Debbie Gibson - Only in My Dreams -- 46 plays
Loaded March 14, 2004

1) Jim Capaldi - That's Love -- 53 plays
Loaded December 5, 2003. I didn't like this song when it came out while I was in college. I obviously misjudged it then.

Now that all my songs will be starting out with a play count of zero, I'll try to remember to post the play counts from the new computer a year from now. It's anyone's guess who'll be at the top of the list.

Do NOT Eat Your Fruits and Vegitables

2009-06-14T07:45:00.000-05:00

I made a quick run to the grocery store this morning. My list included the usual - bananas, grapes, a couple types of apples. Hearing my parents' voice in my head that there is all kinds of goodness in the produce section, I made an impulsive purchase of some fairly attractive nectarines.

At checkout, I was punished for my impulsiveness. My three nectarines added up to 0.98 lbs. At $1.49 a pound, they should have run me $1.46. Instead, they were rung up as olives - olives! - at $7.99 a pound. The charge was $7.83. A careless checker added $6.37 to my grovery bill this morning. I don't claim to be an expert but olives and nectarines don't seem to be very similar.

There are a number of lessens one could take away from this. Yes, I could have watched closely as the checker rang up my items (unlikely). I could have reviewed my receipt on the spot (I hate it when people do that). No, the lessen here is that you can't get ripped off buying unfamiliar fruits if you don't buy any to begin with.

In summary, if you're buying produce at Rainbow on 6th Ave North in Plymouth, keep a skeptical eye on your checker, and most importantly, don't eat your fruits and vegitables!

Juniors

2009-05-25T23:54:00.004-05:00

Have you noticed how many movers and shakers have the same names as their fathers? I was going to say "successful people" but we're talking politicians and businessmen, not how I measure success. Does "success" engender naming offspring after yourself or does naming a kid after yourself give them a leg up? Simply imponderable.

Let's go back in time:

2008: Barack Hussein Obama II
Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr

The man who could never become president, John McCain III

2000-2004: George Walker Bush, son of George Herbert Walker Bush, nephew of George Herbert Walker (can you tell where the money really came from?)
Richard Cheney II

The guy who really won the 2000 election, Albert Gore, Jr

How about the guy who really won in 2004, John Kerry? Nope, but maybe if he'd been a junior, he would have had more help in proving election tampering.

1992-1996: William Jefferson Clinton was born William J Blythe, III. Bill's brother was Roger Clinton, Jr

1988-1992: We already mentioned George Bush. How about his VP, John Danforth Quayle III?

1988: Michael Dukakis? Not a junior, but running mate Lloyd Bentson, Jr was.

1984: Walter F Mondale? Nope.

1980: Ronald Reagan? Nope, but he has a son named Ron.

1976: James Earl Carter, Jr
Gerald R Ford, Jr was born Leslie King, Jr. That's gotta be a record in vanity somehow.
Nelson Rockefeller was not a Jr (a Sr, though), but his father (John D, Jr) and brother were (John D III).

1968: Neither Nixon nor Agnew was (and see what happened to them) but Hubert H Humphrey II was. He sired HHH III and HHH IV, plus the Metrodome. Quite the legacy there.

1964: Lyndon Johnson? Nope, but his brother was.

1960: John Kennedy wasn't but his brother was. In case you need reminding, JFK was a Sr.
Nixon's running mate in 1960 was Henry Cabot Lodge, Jr.

1952-1956: David Eisenhower II (different middle name)

That's enough for now. That's a lot of Juniors, Seniors, 2nds and 3rds. Myself, I'm an only.

Lunch

2009-05-17T13:30:00.000-05:00

Today's decision on what to have for lunch was made by the klutz who unpacked groceries at 11:50 AM and dropped a bag containing a carton of eggs. Only two eggs broke, so a nice little omelet became the main course.

It hit the spot, too. The secret to a great omelet? A few drops of Tabasco sauce.

I've Done This Before

2009-05-15T19:23:00.002-05:00

I went to my usual neighborhood theater this afternoon (Willow Creek on Shelard Parkway in Plymouth, Minnesota). The guy at the box office looked a cut above the typical teen-to-twentysomething that normally mans the booth. I said "One for 'State of Play,'" and before he could say, "That'll be $6.25," I had laid down a fiver, a single and a quarter. He was genuinely surprised and made a comment like, "You're very prepared." "Yes," was my reply, "I've been here a few times."

That's not what I wanted to say. I keep track of the movies I see but I don't memorize my stats. If I did, I would have been able to instantly reply, "Yes, I've been here a few times. This will be my 692nd viewing of a movie at your fine establishment." The drama addict in me would love to have seen his jaw hit the floor. Unfortunately, I tallied my stats several hours after seeing the movie.

In case you're wondering, the count started in 1994. I didn't make Willow Creek my usual haunt until 2000, when I saw 49 movies there (out of 122 that year). My peak for the theater was 101 in 2005. You can thank Joss Whedon's "Serenity" for enough repeat viewings in 2005 to help me eclipse 2004's 100.

I wonder if the Manager of Willow Creek would really care if he found out that I was one of his best customers. Why not? Well, I'm also one of his worst. I almost always go to a matinee and almost never buy anything at the concession stand. Theaters pay most of the box office take to the distributors so they make next to nothing off ticket sales. Their highest profit margins come from concessions, especially pop and popcorn.

If I chatted with the Manager, I might suggest the following deal: I get a laminated unlimited access pass to the theater and I agree to purchase concessions equal to or exceeding the cost of the tickets I don't buy. It's a win-win scenario: I have the same out of pocket costs and he shifts his revenue to extremely high margin products. Like I said, win-win, except that, from the distributor's perspective, it's fraud. Except for that one little detail, it's a great plan.